everlasting love<3

2007-11-30T14:57:00.000+08:00

To those who have been waiting to see my new post, thanks for viewing and your concern. (:
Not that i didnt want to blog, but i seriously got not enough time to blog. Well. I am so busy working now. Almost the whole week, i am fully packed. Wake up, prepare, work, slack and home..That's my everyday routine last few weeks.. But now it's different.. I have a new job instead of delifrance. ((: Im working as a promoter to promote people to buy cakes. COOL YEA?! ((: and i have to work from 1pm to 9pm everyday and there's transport fees too. Well the pay is soooo much better than delifrance and when during the off days, i will go back to delifrance and work. So, basically, im working everyday... 5 days being a promoter and 2 days being a delifrance staffs. LOL. Though it's rather exhausting, but i really learnt alot of things. I enjoyed the busy life of mine. Perhaps it's just for a while. HAHA. maybe not?? hopefully. Hmm. After blogging, i still have to rush to work at delifrance. Do visit me. HAHA. and i cant wait for tomorrow's new job. Heh. I am going to have loads of $$$ in my bank soon. YOOHOO~! And next year, i am going to settle down for my o'levels already. After my o's next year, I am going to work at zara or hotel. YEA! that's my target and my birthday is arriving soon! You guys know what to do right? Hehe. Im 16 soon! Here i come NC16!~ LOL. Too lame yea. HAHA. But i really should have some offdays for myself. I should consider. And i dont even have time for tuition, family, studies and friends... IM SORRY. Hmm..3rd to 5th dec is my nacli camp..gotta enjoy myself to the fullest. 7th dec is my pay day! 8th dec is NCO'S bbq day! and 22nd dec im going MALACCA((: OMg! alright i really got to go. that's all and bye guys. Enjoy for hols and take care.

2007-11-27T12:23:00.001+08:00

26nov07 will be remembered by me.
it's the day i feel loved once again.
thanks boy for taking away my pain and hurts.

well. yesterday woke up at 11am. msged with boy the whole day. aww. he's really sweet. then met up with yubing and sharon. surpose to do hws..but ended up we didnt..yubing got some relationship problems and i really hope she will be happy soon. she left the earliest and left me and sharon at mac chit chating. Then around 4.20pm, i headed to work. I dont know why there were so many staffs yesterday and marcia and kimberly have to go back. zzz sians but they waited for us to finish our work till 10++ lor. thanks. and after work, me, marcia, kimberly and felix went to slack slack awhile. then headed home to sleep. then that's all. haha. anyway, i found out things about my dearest meimei. aww.. last long girl! jiejie is happy for you oh. ((: and im going out with my boy today. going to watch my fav movie. ((: hopefully it will be a pleasant day. and meimei dont you go and catch us! lol. kay lah. i shall end here. byebye.

being loved is a blessing...

2007-11-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

A story has it's ending. But a new story begins soon..

i was blinded to have love you and i regretted. This time i had finally gave up. Im proud to say that too. Well. im glad everything is over. i found my new love already anyway. is you who dumped me. dont you regret. you will never find someone who love you as deep as how i loved you as before. i swear that. Two years..Finally everything is over..goodbye is the word i must say to you. Thanks for all the hurts.

story ended. (((((((:

what a reliet..
thanks god you appear again to save me from all these hurts.
thanks boy... ((((:

2007-09-24T21:16:00.001+08:00

I know my blog is a little dead but no choice lah. I just dont have much to say.Mood swing-ed here and there. Sort of scary. DOTS. You can see how high am i, but you will never realise how much i bleed INSIDE. Why do i seems to be keeping everything to myself? it doesnt seems to be natural for me. I dont know why either. I could feel the numb-ness in me, the tired-ness of me. Let's talk about today. I was disappointed with my maths result. I failed. ): I ought to be disappointed because i let my mum and of course my tuition teacher down lah. I did studied. ): Then i cried during POA lesson. I couldnt understand and i guess im stressed. I ask mrs cheah but she shouted at me, as always. I really need a better POA teacher lah. At least someone who has patience to teach. Unlike her lah. Zzz I dont know what's wrong with that teacher lah. Sort of crazy. Zzz. Okay. EOY is starting on this thursday. Im sad to say..im not yet prepared.. But i just finished revising on my social studies, northern ireland. I love social studies so much more than history. Perhaps i find it hard to understand history. Because it's so complicating and i couldnt remember all the things that well. Haa. Walked home after school with SHARON,RAISHUN,YUBING,ZHIJIAN,SEAN,JINGJUN,TINGCHUN. talked loads of craps lah. Sometimes i really cant stand my own nonsense. Sigh. Well, Yingjie had been complaining that i kept singing song and it's emo songs.

im singing.
ME: " WO KE YI REN SHOU NI BU GOU AI WO..."
YINGJIE: " WO BU KE YI REN SHOU NI ZHE ME CHAO LE LAH.."
CRAPS LAH~ HAA.

My dad just came back from operation. He looked damn weak lah. Sigh. heartbroken to see him like this. I hope he will get well soon. )):

&& bless me for my EOY. (:

i still miss you..badly..silently..

2007-09-20T19:43:00.000+08:00

It's the 21th tomorrow. All i can say is..i miss you..

I watch you fade into the distance,
While I am here teary eyed,
and heartbroken.
I know I shouldn't be this way,
Yet in my heart,I hold a fear
Of losing you forever,
Without you I may not last.
The thought of someone else
Stealing your heart,
Brings me pain
,And loneliness.
I miss you too much,
Please come home lonesome,
Needing someone to hold,
So then I'll know I'm not the only one.

Here's something meaningful.
zuo ren yi ding yao jing de qi huang yan, shou de qi fu yan, ren de zhu qi pian, wang de liao nuo yan, fang de xia yi qie. zui hou yong wei xiao lai qu dai diao xia lai de yan lei, ning ke xiang xin shi jie shang you gui, ye bu yao xiang xin ni na zhang po zhui. HAHA

2007-09-12T15:28:00.000+08:00

I woke up, noticed that it's another miserable day.
Your face flashed through my mind, but slowing faded away.
i couldnt see you anymore, the darkness rise.
I cried when i opened my eyes. I cried while i was brushing my teeth. I cried when i bath. I cried when i get ready for school. I cried along the way to school. This is what i do before school actually starts..
I tried to focus in class but i find it so hard.
I tried to laugh..i tried to treat it as nothing has happened..i tried to be happy..but my heart is still bleeding.. it just hurts so much..When will storm be over? Sigh..mei you ni de mei yi tian..kuai le li wo hao yao yuan..i keep thinking of you..i really miss you..

YingJie: " why are you so sad?"
Angella: " fen shou le.."
YingJie: " wei she me?"
Angella: " guo le zhe me jiu..ta gao shu wo, wo men bu shi he.."
YingJie: " haiyoh. bu shi bu shi he..shi ta bian xin le.."
Angella: " ye xu shi bah.."

i broke down after that. i shed but nobody noticed. shi zhen de mah? nan dao ni zhang dao le jiu wo yao wo le mah? ni zhen de shi bian xin le mah? nothing can heal my wounds now. Im badly hurt..by you..

THE QUESTION IS WHY??!!! ))):

i know im gonna flung my math test today. Sigh..

After school..

Angella: " raishun, i dont feel like going home."
Raishun: " why? "
Angella: " Sigh. yi qian ta hai zai wo de shen bian shi, jiao wo hui jia, wo ye bu gu dan..ke shi xian zai ta yi bu zai..zuo she me, qu na li..dou shi gu dan de.. ): "
Raishun: " go home play games? "

blah blah blah..

i walked home alone. I hold my tears. But once i reached home.. sigh..i broke down.. again.. someone save me hao mah? ))))))))))):

wo bu xiang huo zai zhe yang de shi jie li.
wei she me zhe ge shi jie zhe me bu gong ping?
zhe ge shi jie zhen de hen kong bu..
i dont want to wake up..i dont want..it's hurtful and unbearable..

im trying to be strong already. im trying..so hard..

and i really must thanks many people for being there.
im touched. really touched. but... sorry.
thanks to yubing, haziq, raishun, liangzi, serena, yingjie,gladys,jerevien and most of all, simon and xiaoxiumai who kept cheering me up.
i will never forget you guys were there for me when im having my darkness. but im really sorry...

i do hate myself. i had done so much..i love you dearly and deeply..i had give you the best i can..i had tried to save this relationship..i tried so much.. but i still failed to keep you by my side.. why? why? WHY?! wo tao yan wo zi ji..yin wei wo mei you yong..shi wo zuo de bu gou hao mah? dui bu qi..wo bu wan mei..wo bu neng gei ni ni xiang yao de..wo hen shi bai..dui bu qi..dui bu qi..dui bu qi.. ))))))))))))))))))))):

wo bu shi yi ge wan mei de ren..ke shi wo shi zhen de hen ai ni..bu xiang shi qu ni..sigh..i believe nobody can love you as much as i do..

this song is what i kept listening to...

FEN KAI YI HOU...*

and here's the lyric.

xiang han ni
que mei gan kai kou
zui hou zhi you
liu zhe lei
kan ni zou
wo xiang wen
wo shi fou zhi yuan yi jiu zhe yang fang shou
ji ran wu fa wan liu
zhi hao jie shou
cong jin yi hou ni yao ji mo duo jiu
shui neng gei yu ni wo zhe ban de wen rou
ye xu shi duo yu le
ni li kai wo hui guo de geng kuai le
ke dui yu ruan ruo de wo
hui yi jiu zu gou
fen kai yi hou
mei dang xiang dao ni
jiu hui di xia tou
jin wo de shou
bu zhi guo le duo jiu
wo xiang xin ni ye hui you yi yang de xin suan nan shou
dou ceng jing shen ai guo shui
you shui neng she de
zai li kai ni zhi hou
xiang kuai le ye zhi shi yi zhong qiang qiu
yi ge ren zen me guo dou shi chou
dong de yong you que wei bi neng rang ni wei wo ting liu
zui hou zhi sheng yi han
la zhu wo bu fang shou
fen kai yi hou
mei dang xiang dao ni
jiu hui di xia tou
jin wo de shou
bu zhi guo le duo jiu
wo xiang xin ni ye hui you yi yang de xin suan nan shou
dou ceng jing shen ai guo
shui you zhen de she de
zai li kai ni zhi hou
xiang kuai le ye zhi shi yi zhong qiang qiu
yi ge ren zen me guo dou shi chou
dong de yong you que wei bi neng rang ni wei wo ting liu
zui hou zhi sheng yi han la zhu wo bu fang shou

sigh.. ni hui hui lai wo de shen bian mah? wo xiang ni..qiu ni kuai dian hui lai.. dear.. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

2007-09-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

The question is WHY?!

Why are you doing this to me? I did no wrong. It's was just a little conflict. Why must you leave me? AGAIN&AGAIN! I really love you, cant you see it? If i really done anything wrong, im sorry. But you are at fault too. What can i do so that you wont leave me? I need you. You know how much i cant live without you. We went till this far..how cruel could you to just leave me here alone? i beg you. dont leave me, will you? i promise i will wait till your exams are over. But promise me that you will come back to me ke yi mah? i dont want to live in a fearful and darkness life. it's so terrible and unbearable. will you just spare a thought for me? i just dont want you to go..i love you..too much..that i cant live without you..my exams are nearing too..Dont do such things to me, i beg you. Nan dao ni zhen de bu yao wo le mah? im your babygirl..remember? remember you said you will take care of me till the day i die? where are your promises? i kept mine. But did you? i only hope for your return. Just tell me you'll come back and everything will be fine. is that so impossible? i just cant bear to let you go. i dont know what went wrong..i just want you back..dear, im sorry. come back to me, will you?

2007-09-10T19:38:00.000+08:00

SIGH is the word i can say.

It's hurting and im getting so tired. Why must you keep repeating your mistakes again and again? did you even respect me?! You repeated your mistakes two times today! How am i suppose to forgive? Sigh. Can you please stop all these shit? stop pushing the blame to me! yes, you did say sorry. But get the fact that sorry cant cure any wound! And you just say sorry once eh.. it's your fault and you ought to solve it! but did you? you only know how to say sorry mah? you already know is your fault and why arent you giving in or doing sth about it? but instead you treated me like this! is it so hard to give in and hong me? dont you think you ought to do that? did you understand my feelings? Hais..Im too hurt by your love. is this love? sigh..i feel like just ending everything..)): will you treat me better and please think for me, will you? im getting so tired already.perhaps..i should not hold it so tight anymore..

2007-09-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

okays. i cant imagine school is starting just tomorrow. OHMYTIAN~ i haven prepare, im not ready yet. im still in holiday mood. i still wanna play. lol. anyway, nothing much about today. i went for tuition early in the morning. i was late. hehe. && thanks LAOSHI for the gifts!((: i love it truck loads. Hmm. den went to simei to have lunch and after that went to meet MUMMY; tan su ping. LOL! Then went to trim eyebrows at chuplao. Then went to shop shop at fairprice and bought some stuffs back home. I always have fun with my MUMMY! I love her and i treasure her. ((: thanks for all the colours you brought into my life. && i bought chocs for my lil baby bun bun. BUT she dont eat..i dont know why.. )): i went home early today. im a guai bao bao!((: zzz lol. okay.. im off to..dont know do wad also.. :D haha. byebye. i miss my baby!

2007-09-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to JANET!(:

I woke up at 9.30am and was so reluctant to wake up. Mum woke me up and ask me to go market with her and dad to have breakfast. And i follow lor. Then accompany mum to see doctor cos her legs are in pain. hmm. mum, get well soon! actually got tuition today at 1pm derh. i accompany my mum go see doctor and so didnt manage to go for tuition. And tuition is changed to tomorrow! Zzz hmm.. then afternoon do some homechores and after that meet baby go parkway meet janet, mum, dad and sinhui. Then we went to east coast to cycle. Sang birthday song and cake birthday's cake for janet. BEST WISHES! and poor mum fell and was injured, mum, becareful next time okay! haha. and poor sinhui fell too. TAKE CARE! and we went to lagoon to eat again today. yummy.. haha! then cycled back and went to arcade to play photohunt. afterall, i enjoyed myself today. aww.. school reopening on monday already.. kaox! )))): i dont like lah! mid year examinations on 27sept! Zzz GOD BLESS ME! haha. well.. i enjoyed the moment spending with my baby, dad and mom. i really do. (((: smiles! tomorrow meeting mum go out too..!! happiness... haha! byebye

baby; my one and only.
though we often have our conflicts, but at least we manage to pull through yea? And at least we can handle things better; so much better! muacks dear.

&&im not childish. Just that others dont know what we going through. So shut those comments. IM HAPPY THAT I PROVED YOU WRONG! you loser.

2007-09-07T00:13:00.000+08:00

A GREAT DAY!(:

it's been such a long time since i last smiled and have fun. i really enjoyed myself with my dearest today. i really do, love. (: I met up with my boy at 9am and we headed to have our breakfast at YAKUN. We wanted to eat this together long ago but couldnt have the chance because my boy is a pig. he always sleep till late. (: then we went to watch RATATOUILLE(: it's nice and real funny okay. MUST WATCH! espercially with your love. HAHA. Then i went home to change my baggy cos it's spoilt and then headed to MP'S LIBRARY to study with DAD and MOM. didnt really study much nahs. dont like the place out there cos there's many people lah. argh. zzz. then we went to lagoon to have a big feast together. ((: along the way, i had so much fun with my boy. thanks for everything, love. after that DAD and BOY bullied ME and MOM! not fair derh. I WILL TAKE REVENGE! hiakhiak. ((: that's all for today. I LOVE MY BOY!

i love my family- (dad, mom, boy)...<3

2007-09-05T20:23:00.000+08:00

Many things have been happening. it's exhausting. All i could feel is just fear and coldness. why is this happening? can you tell me? hais. I had been hiding my feelings. Actually im really hurtful. I tried to let you know.. but ended up we quarrel.. have you ever spare a thought for my feelings? i wondered. it's killing me deep down. My tears had never stop. will you stop hurting me? save me, will you? im out of breath already. really. I got no more strength to carry on already. All i ask from you are you to love me as deeply as how you USED TO. words from you are getting so less and you are treating me so coldly. baby, stop doing all this to me. it's really hurtful. i swear. you'll never understand the pain in me. please kindly think before you say or do anything. alot of things you really misunderstood and i really must say you dont know how to handle. i guess i should say out all this le. And many things are hurting me. 1. seems like im the only cause of you going to fail your olevels. this is what u make me feel. do you know how sad am i? 2. i was being neglected. i hate being that. sigh. 3. i dont like you disallowing me to meet you when you want to meet you friends. you meet your friends so often, den what about me? why cant i go find you tgt with them? am i that suck? hais. 4. you promised me that you will not say break. again and again you broke the promises. im lack of trust in you already. 5. i want to study with you. together with you. why cant i? 6. you told me that it wasnt love. it broke my heart, totally. i wonder do you still love me? 6.i have been trying to solve conflicts between us, why are you adding oil to fire? 7. you treated me so coldly than it's so unbearable. 8. words from you are getting lesser. you dont seems to love me anymore. if you get angry den so be it. all i want is to let you know how i feel. if you cant understand den forget it. 9. you donts seems to know how to handle things. which cause problems getting worst. 10. friends seem to be more impt than me. 11. im jealous of others being so sweet. why cant we? 12. im tired. 13. i love you so much, but sigh.. dear, i say out my feelings doesnt want to make things worst. i hope we can learn from our mistakes. that's all. please change. i beg you.

i hope to have a sweet sweet relationship too.
i dont want to say all this too.
SIGH!

I LOVE YOU. I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOUR LOVE TO BE BACK.

2007-09-02T09:24:00.000+08:00

Finding love in this lonely world
Was like finding a needle in a haystack
Discovering a diamond in the sand
Nailing jelly to a tree
Impossible...
Or so it seemed...

Something that just wasn't worth the effort
The countless disappointments
The tears...The hurt...
Weighing down the fragile heart
When something that felt like love
Turned out to be a sham
A red herring

Love was something that was only found in the movies
In books
In the imagination...
A sort of pipe dream

But even pipe dreams can become a reality
Love can find you when you least expect it
When you cease looking
It springs out of nowhere
Like a long lost friend
A best friend
A lover

You find that needle in the haystack
And when you do, you realise it's something special
The real thing
Something worth waiting for

I found my diamond in the sand
And it's the most valuable diamond i could ever hope to own
It's you

2007-08-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

BUSY* is the word to describe my life.

I have a same routine everyday. Wake up, go school, go home, sleep, wake up, study, sleep......
NO TIME FOR ENTERTAINMENT ANYMORE!
How boring right..NO CHOICE! ):

End of year examinations are just exactly one more month.awww~!
Sec Three's life is exhausting. i cant imagine next year.
where will i be landed at? hmmm. i didnt want to be looked down again.i had been the last few for many years. I think it's wasnt right for me to continues being those fews again.I wanna make a difference instead. (:
i couldnt get the top, at least i wont be the last fews again. STUDIES ARE MY FIRST PIORITY NOW! i dont want to start my last minunte works ever again. it's more exhausting. i'll start now and ends well. (: i know i can do it. JIAYOUS ANGELLA! =P

okay. BUNBUN is getting fatter already. she's like a princess in my house okay. like a lil baby too. how cute lah~ she needs people to carry her, sayang her den she will sleep. so pampered right? LOL. bought her a extremely large cage and she seems to love it alot huh. ILOVEHEROKAY!
please note: BUNBUN is my pet rabbit. (:

&& friendship?
i had been enduring.
dont know how long can i still hold on.
volcano can erupt ANYTIME!
WARNING! BEWARE!
please note: CHONG RAI SHUN IS MY VERY VERY BEST FRIEND(:

&& LOVE?
Havent been meeting my boy recently. BAOBEI, WO HAO XIANG NI!
argh~! We have been busy recently, but i hope it wont affect much on our relationship.Had been thinking of you all day long! shed tears for a few nights too. baby, do you know? ): nothing can describe the misses that i missed you. SI NIAN SHI YI ZHONG BING! i wanna have you in my arms, baby. NEVER WILL I LET YOU GO! though we are a part, but my heart will always beat with yours. i still love you more and more when days passed by. everyday is the addition of love from me to you. MUACKS. iloveyou,weiyou.

21MAY07- WO.MEN.DE.JI.NIAN.RI!
our story begins...till forever ends...

my precious: weiyou, raishun, gladys, meiyan (:

2007-08-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

i dont know how i am i going to start, all i could say was i had a unpleasant morning. Early in the morning when i was walking to school, i actually saw a flasher masturbating right infront of me. He was looking at me and i was really terrified. I FEEL SO INSULTED CAN! bastard. Had a police report and the police asked me so many questions lah but I feel so much better saying out. It's over and really disgust me. I really hope he will be caught soon! hmmm. As for school, i couldnt understand what mrs yeow was teaching. It's was my first time telling her that i dont understand, and asking her to teach me again. At first, i was really scared that she's gonna scream at me. But phew~ she didnt! (: went home after school and met my baby. We went to watch 881. stupid lame and funny show. TECHNO TI KO PEI! haha! so lame can. i had fun being you, my baby. But sad to say..im going for my camp tomorrow. yeah..im gonna miss you alot over there. DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! and wait patiently for my return alright? i'll love you no matter what happens. muack. keep our deals okay! if not i'll be real mad with you. 3days2nights camp.. awww.. it's gonna be hell. i am sure of it! yawns.. im so reluntant to go manx.. pull me go, anyone? LOL. kay lah. im going off now..
'LL MISS YOU GUYS LAH!

2007-08-15T16:39:00.000+08:00

It's a normal day again. It's the 15th august today and i really thought of some past. Two years ago of today...i still remembered you. (: hope you are doing well and take care yeah. Well.. had my english informal letter writing today and hopefully i can pass and hopefully i didnt wrote rubbish? LOL. today was a tiring day. my brain was shut down during bio lesson. we studied non stop from 8am to 3.30pm lah! and i realised this few days i have changed sooooo much. i really want to study hard! and im gonna plan for my daily life frm now onwards and im proud to say i had set goals for my end of year exam already. ((:yoohoo~

ENGLISH-B4
CHINESE-A2
MATHS-A1
POA-B3
BIO-B3/B4
CHEM-B3/B4
PHYSICS-PASS
HUMANS-B3

jiayous to me!(: and went home after school and i cabut my campcraft training. was too tiring to go already. im sorry to all my squadmates. Studies will be my first piority NOW! i have to put cca a side already.
im going to take a short nap and later wake up to do my hws and study.
take care people and thanks for reading. LOL?

great of depression-

2007-08-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

i bought a lil bunny home. (: they gave it to me but i MUST say im just helping to take care of it FOR A WHILE.i cant possibly take care of it FOREVER~ i got no time for that lil bunny. AND i really hate cleaning up all the shitty. LOL. so, please take back ASAP! (: thankyouSOMUCH.okay. firstly, today is quite a FUNNY day? hmm. it's my first time listening to attentively during history lesson.I dont know why but ever since i change my seat, i began to concentrate in class. perhaps is because i got no one to talk to already. yingjie is just so quiet okay. today she didnt come and im all alone by myself. perhaps it's because of her adsence den i so good girl today.HAHA. but as usual during PC and chinese lesson we were like monkeys. i always have fun during this two lesson cos i'll be screaming around. slacking around. LOL. the teacher simply heck care one lah. should say we didnt care abt the teacher bah. HAHA.i was being teased and was called a bear? OHGOD. im so embarrassed in front of the class. IM NOT A BEAR LAH~ PLEASE! and i disagree that i look like one okay. IM NEVER ONE! lol. okay. nothing much or special about today. just a simple school day.just that i got a new companion- SIBUNBUN* lol.well. im going for the adventure training camp AGAIN on this friday. zzz it's gonna be boring and im gonna miss that WEIYOU like hell,heaven and earth lah~ but worst was, it's at PULAU UBIN. god bless me please. HAHA.and and watching 881 with my DEAREST on thursday. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU! pooh misses HER honeyhoney. ((: muack.

WARNING!
weiyou is mine.
DO NOT SNATCH!

&& nothing could describe how much i treasure this lil friendship of ours.
CRS--

2007-08-12T09:24:00.000+08:00

I hate the feelings of being neglected. Im so terribly down yesterday. Waited for your call two nights but end up you didnt call. I waited till i fallen asleep.zzz you didnt even contact me yesterday. You just had fun yourself and how could you bear to neglect me? i was having a headache but you didnt seems to care. you say you'll text me later but you didnt. zzz for the whole day, i was feeling so alone. i keep waiting for your msg and call but none. do you know how worry i was when you told me you are still outside when it was already so late? sigh. for two nights you made me so worry. couldnt even sleeep well. zzz next time i still will let you go meet your friend mah? you always meet your friend jiu neglect me de lorh. hais. did i ever neglect you? i had tried to understand you by not disturbing you but dont you think you are too much? you didnt even contact me the whole day lah. am i not angry? i wait and wait and wait. like dummies can. sigh..

ireallywonder.

2007-08-10T09:52:00.000+08:00

Breaking up don't solve problems,You know they never do.
But if I had a choice-
To where to spend my days,I'd spend them all with you.
Even though you make me feel bad,
and i make you feel bad too,
You're still the only one.
Who understands my life;
Every mistake I've ever done.
I never want to lose you,
I never want to fight.
I want to spend all my days with you,
Even in the night.
Each and every word I write,
Is coming from my heart.
And all I've ever asked for,
Is for us to never part.
Please know each and every poem,
Is a poem just for you.
And I'm happy when you say I love you,
Because I'll always love you too.

Though things doesnt turn out so well for us yesterday but im glad to had spend that moment with you.I promise we'll had a perfect view to watch fireworks next year. alright, baby? if only you dont go. I know both of us are sad, but deep in my heart, i really appreciate what you had done for me. Though i didnt say, and it lead to some quarrels, but dear, i do feel it. im happy enough. really. thanks for everything and im sorry for everything too. let's keep the promise within us alright? remember what we say last night? we'll learn from our mistakes alright. things wont happen again kays? muacks dear. i love you alot. There's bad and good, but i'll always remember the good that you had done. Actually, im so happy at sentosa yesterday. I had fun with you dear. So nice to hug you in the sea. ((: dear, dont because of small things and we quarrel okay? we must learn to handle things and manage things well. Think before we do anything kay. think for each another hao mah? i really hope to spend with you happily everyday. please dont leave me again.

2007-08-07T19:46:00.000+08:00

the pain in me, who will understand? who can i talk to? sigh.
do i have to fake a smile everyday? i guess i did my part by understanding you. But had you did your part be understanding my feelings too? it's just the starting. i hope we can manage it well before thing goes wrong. I know you are lack of time, but i didnt complain. i wonder do you know that i am actually very sad? i didnt want to raise it up to you cos i know you are busy. i know it's gonna be a waste of time to you. i did raise it up to you once or twice, but things still dont go smoothly. i cant possibly be the one suffering right? And all i request from you was to treasure the time we can have together. is it so hard mah? the busier you are, arent you suppose to treasure more? do i have to tell you all this? a love involves two parties.. i do my part as a stead, you ought to do your part too. i cant possibly keep keeping it to myself and cry in the dark. arent we suppose to give in to each other? In a love, we ought to give in equally. This is just the start, i can still hold on. but how long can i hold on? Ask yourself how are you going to manage your studies and relationship. it's not hard if both parties sit down and talk together. most importantly, we have to think for one another instead of thinking only for yourself. this should be the way to love.. not mah? to me, i feel that you havent been thinking for me. you only think for yourself. i can swear that im trying to understand you already. i just want us to solve this problem asap before thing goes wrong and of course to end this all so that you can concentrate on your studies. i had to say i couldnt feel your love anymore. am i so fan gan to you? you got nth to talk to me le mah? you getting tired of this relationship le mah? the sweetness had turn bitter le mah? sigh. it's killing me inside. it's the most miserable to unable to feel love anymore in a relationship.i got no one to talk to so i decided to blog my feelings down. From now onwards, i'll only say out my feelings thru blogging le. will you understand the pain in? the pain of you unable to accompany me and got no more time for me is so terrible already. i just keep it to myself. But i still have to undergoes the state of feeling unlove. it's even worst. someone, tell me what should i do? i really love him and i dont wish to let him go. i really wonder do you still love me? i dont wish to repeat and think so much again and again. but this is really what you made me feel and im puzzled. im a girl, i got feelings. please understand. are you that sort that gonna say :" im sorry dear that i cant pei you, but i will bu chang after everything" or are you going to say : " im busy, cant you understand" ? if you are the one saying :" im busy, cant you understand?" den i guess you are really selfish. you only think for yourself. i hope we can manage our things well and settle down asap. sigh..im feeling so alone. it's seems like im walking a dark journey on my own. i couldnt share my sorrow with you anymore. cos you dont seems to understand. what's happening? what went wrong? i really wondered.

ISTILLLOVEYOU, is all i could say.

2007-08-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

ni hai ai wo mah? yi zhi hao xiang wen ni zhe ju hua..
things had been alright but the past few days but suddenly i dont know what happens. my head is rotating, my heart is bleeding profusly. im feeling so out of breath already. it's hurting me, it's killing me badly. i cried and cried and cried. Nobody knows the pain in me. I pity myself. i feel so useless. why cant i live on my own? ): why am i so in love with you? sigh. i couldnt feel your love. just so sudden! it's so scary..im so afraid.. why?! tell me why?! why your feelings can actually fade so fast, suddenly, easily..why can you live without me? but why cant i? im so useless. i hate myself. i really do.. i wish to be a happy girl.i wish to study hard. i wish to get good results. i dont wish to disappoint anybody.i dont wish to waste time. but how am i going to settle down if things havent been going well and it's so unstable. Storm just came at anytime. Even when im not ready or prepared. it's so scary and i dont know where to hide. i had been keeping things to myself. no point tellings others. nobody will understand. if you could understand... sigh.. im tired.. im lifeless..im loveless..im moodless..im nobody..im no longer me..im just a shit

2007-07-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

it's a tiring day. Mood swing-ed after recess. Totally restless and moodless. And my mood was FUCK! had a bad headache too, espercially during POA lesson. Well. That BASTARD CHEW said a lamest joke today. I was like.. WHAT THE FUCK!! his joke was.. " why did merlion keep vomitting?" LOL. the answer was because a durian was nearby.. GET IT? it's the esplandade! KAO. want to bash him right? yeah.. me too. LOL. i failed my chem LA. sobbx. ): i did studied lah! have to buck up more already. Sad case but not yet gone case. LOL. then after school went home. Received phones call and im friend was in trouble. Went down to see if i can help and mr lea came and we ran off.. lol..so funny can. But luckily everything settled lerh. im glad it finally ended.Friends got problem i'll never fail to help. i promise! (: hmmm.. after that went techview with FELIX and WEIJIE. talked and had dinner then after that went home with a happy mood. Mood really swing-ed so fast today hur..LOL.. dont know why though. anyway, im going for interview tomorrow with FELIX to work at pizzahut. OH COOL~ i love working..opps..should say.. I LOVE MONEY! haha! And i do hope i can manage to watch the NDP preview this saturday when i guess it's clashes with my area day. OHGOD. i wish area day will be cancelled. HAHA! kay lah. im off to audition already. my hands are itching right now! TAKE CARE PEEPS. and lastly, i love you guys..everyone of you..and OF COURSE espercially YOU*

if im the poohbear, you'll always be my honey.
poohbear cant do without honey. (:
Even IF im not the pooh, remember im still DAPOOH~! (:
So, in conclusion, no matter who am i, you will still be my honey honey.
my HONEY you, im here to say ILOVEYOU!
babyboy, till death tear us part.

2007-07-29T09:33:00.000+08:00

Im too busy and lazy to blog now a days. Had been committed to NPCC and i had been thinking hard how to train my juniors. Many things happened between us and we got a bad scolding from our sir. One by one were scolded. Perhaps it's was just the starting that we are taking over, that's explains why we were in a mess. I really hope things will get better and juniors could cooperate with us. I just need respect, cooperation and teamwork! that's all i ask for from my lil juniors. Had been taking over the sec 1s but actually im the instructor of the sec2s, but due to the sec1s instructor not there, so i had to take over. It's really difficult to teach them nah. But i really did my best already. They are cute, but naughty.You guys really need to buck up for those who are not in the contigent. And posting had been out, ADELINE & HAZIM are the OVERALL INCHARGE. RAFIAH, the parade specialist & the PTI. ME, the sec2s ic. JINHUI, the sec2s INCHARGE. HAZIQ, the outdoor specialist and sec2s ic. JOLYN, the sec1s in charge and the PTI. BRYAN, the sec1s ic. FARID, the sec1s ic. RUSHYDI, the sec1s incharge. RAYMOND, the logistic. MUZ, the sec1s ic.WEEKIAN, the outdoor specialist. FATIN, the admin head. SOLEHA, the admin assistant. (((: that's all about us! i love you guys. Well. ATC is coming after national day. it's gonna be a real tiring camp again. im reluctant to go lah! pulau ubin again.. it's scary! arghhhhh~ and area day is on next sat. Zzz. bored. LOL.. and national day got parade at petal garden. OHGOD. save me. hope i wont faint again. ((:

hmm.. gonna buck up on my studies already. but i could see the improvement from me. ((: keep it up, girl. LOL. (:

SOMETHING had been troubling me all the time. i hope they will stop saying me already. i had enough!

no matter what, i still wanna be with you, i just wanna love you!
that's the reason why i live for. my heart will beat with you and forever we will stay like this. nobody, NOBODY can tear us part.

ILOVEYOU, BABYBOY.

2007-07-17T19:29:00.000+08:00

My heart is dying.

it's not just once or twice. It happens many time already. Im utterly speechless. If sorry could cure everything, the world will not need police anymore. Not say you say sorry to me, and my anger and stuffs will suddenly vanished right? You are mad at me cos i gave you attitude but in the first place why will i actually give you attitude? Imagine how hurt can it be when you talk to your boy, but is like talking to a wall? and you said you were hungry and i wanted to bring you to eat but what's in the end? i waited for air. Keep asking you to go but sigh! You can actually done such thing to me infront of the others lah. And you think scold you infront of others i very happy mah? im so embarrassed too! It's not the first time already lor, it's alot of time lah. i didnt say out only lorh. If so, then next time i dont go find you lah, they go find you jiu hao. Im getting so tired of it lah, too tired that i wanna back off already. And in your msg, you can actually say fark. OHMYGOD. You can never know how fark my feelings are lah. You simply just stabbed a knife into my heart. Never be mend.. it's just hurt badly. ): dont you realise is your fault? Why am i always the one at fault man. im just nothing to you, i guess.

2007-07-10T21:22:00.000+08:00

Nothing can describe the feelings i have now. it's terrible. Perhaps i had found the wrong person to talk to. Sigh. i tot you will always be the one, but today i realised i was totally wrong. im so disappointed, i feel so tired. Nobody is here for, im just here alone. Nobody is helping me, im helpless! Everyone is against me. I hate the life im leading now. sigh.. you just stabbed a knife into my heart. A deep scar left behind.. i didnt expect you will actually say such things.. do you still love me? hais.. can you imagine how sad that i realise i found the wrong person to talk to and the person is the one i love the most? can imagine how sad it is that it's seems like you are facing it alone? im speechless. the pain in me is killing me. it hurts so badly.

2007-07-08T13:43:00.000+08:00

BOO!~ finally i blogged(: im rotting at home for two days already. hais.. it's uper boring. ): no mood to do hws too.. hmm.. let's talk about my sec2's cadets. aww.. utterly disappointed with their attitude. i dont know how to teach them manx.. their attitude simple sucks to the core. POP is coming up soon. Seriously, im kinda pity the ncos.. we have to plan this plan that..dont have enough time lah. how how?! sigh.. i just hope the sec2s and sec1s will just cooperate with us and dont make things more difficult for us. anyway, jiayous NCOS! a big family we will always be. United we stand, together we fall. love you guys!(: i simply love the bonding we had since we were sec1s. ((: hmm.. have been thinking of what course i wanna take..what i wanna be.. but it's seems like i dont have any other interest. Feel scared and lost. Someone please guild me can? well.. I FARK HATE MR WILSON CHEW ENG HOCK! he sucks big time. if you feel insulted then sue me if you want. so what if you are so clever and you got such a high pay as compared to others, and so what if and what if and what if... you are just a principal's dog lah. please lah.. dont look down on me, cos i'll make you embarassed by what you had said. i promise, i swear! im not a loser, you are the then the big farking loser! dog is what you are! wooof lah.

angella.jolyn.adel.jinhui.raf.muz.kian.bryan.muz.rusyhdi.zim.ziq. (:
one big family. <3

2007-06-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

i woke up, knowing that you had gone, i feel a sudden loneliness. argh. it's only the first day and im so miss you already. will cha know? i feel so bored without you. seems like im so lifeless lah. WOHAOXIANGNI! hmm. played auditon for the whole afternoon and went downstair to play in the evening. played whoolihah till 10pm!! cool hur..then went home with my sweaty body. haha. then played audition again. LOL. i just stopped playing only. going to orh orh liao.. nights. that's all bout today.

i m i s s y o u s o m u c h b a b y

2007-06-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

Heyhey. To ensure that my blog is not dying, Im here to save it. Haha! anyway, i was asked by someone special to blog nahs. well.. holiday are coming to the end. i haven touch on my homeworks yet. LOL.. im gonna stay at home this few days..dont wish to go out.. saturday promotion test. GOD BLESS ANGELLA! (: im happy with my life now. no worries..no sadness..nothing but happiness! (: hees. i hope things will remains like this long long. nothing much to blog nahs.. just wanna say i'll wait for your return. miss you boy ):

I solemnly swearI'll always be there.I took an oath. An I'll be there til the end. Cos I'll always love you. No one could ever rise above you.I come with loyalty.Honesty.This is my petition to you. Can I win your vote? I solemnly swear I'll always be there. In the rain, sleet, hail or snow, I really love you don't you know. And you, I never wanna let go.What do you say about forever.I'll hold you in any weather.When you're sad I'll make it better.I want to vow to you.And be lawfully wedded.Cos those other guys I have dreaded.But you've shown me the light, Taken me out of the dark, And sent me a spark. Now a complete fire, I'll never hurt you. I care for you and more, I don't want to lose you EVER again. And to you I solemnly swear, I'll always be thereI love you more than ever. And I'll be here foreverI will be your boulder, You can cry on my shoulder, And baby I solemnly swearI will love you til the end.And I I'll always be there for you.

Love isn't finding someone & living with them forever, Love isn't a game, Love is finding a imperfect person and seeing them perfectly, Love is you loving that person & that person loving you back, Love is me and you, Love is love. I LOVE WEIYOU!

2007-06-08T15:46:00.000+08:00

Backed from genting. i had a fun time with girlfriends. (:

DAY ONE.
before the day we went to genting, tracy, me, alex, grace tonned at liangzi's house. i didnt sleep the whole night and 4am i went home to bath and get change and we met up with serene and sharon and off we went to lavender. we had our breadfast and set off to genting. it's was a long journey and of course we slept.. haha.. reached there at around 3pm. we were so disappointed with the hotel lah. so small and yet four of us have to sqeeze.. but we did hadd fun in the hotel lah. lol. then after that we went to have our dinner and then off to indoor theme park. had fun! amd then we went shopping. then went back to hotel and slack, played cards... then good night.

DAY TWO.
woke up at 8 plus and a PIG couldnt wake up. so only me, shun and tracy went for our buffet breadfast. we went late so the food were like shit. haha? packed some bread back for that pig. haha. dont say us not good to us lah. lol. then we went to play outdoor theme park. yoohoo~! fun fun fun! espercially the cork screw and the flying coaster! ((: then at night went to the MUSHROOM FARM to have our dinner. didnt get to go down to KL. ): sobx. then went shopping but it was too late alreayd. then back to hotel and im the first one to sleep okay. hahaha..

DAY THREE.
i woke up at 5am and i saw them still playing cards. only me and liangzi slept for the night and the rest were playing cards and mahjiong all the way. sorry lah. wo hen lei mah..haha..well..i know how to play mahjiong le! but very noob lah..hahah..then had breadfast and we went to the bus terminal. bus was spoilt at KL and we waited for two hours plus lah. argh. fark angry. haha..then the bus driver treat us eat just to seal our mouth, to prevent us from complaining. LOL? hmm...then reached singapore around 7 plus and dad came to fetch me and zi. ((:

overall, i had fun with all my girlfriends. ((: yeah!
and not forgetting to say, i missed YOU so badly.

2007-06-02T13:59:00.000+08:00

heyhey. there's sth wrong with my computer and seriously i dont feel like using it. that's explain why i haven been online-ing and blogging and friendstering. But i dont wish my blog to be dead lah so i decided to at least blog a few words. LOL. hmm.. well well. im going genting on monday to wednesday. im so so so looking forward to it alright. gonna have fun with all my girlfriends! people do miss me alright. haha! well. meeting my girlfriends at bedok later to discuss about the trip. (: and im so happy that the problems between me and my mum had been solved. (: no more quarrels and i will be a good daughter. heehee. hmm. haven start doing my "HOMEJOY". and i bet i cant finish them. haha.. friends, meet me up to do hws can? haha. im just having fun and enjoying myself everyday now before school start, before i really settle down to study hard.
okays, i dont know what to write already. feel like deleting this blog already. haha..
byebye.

i miss cheryl liew hui ling! (((:

iloveyouboy.

2007-05-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

my blog is not dead, cos im here to blog again. well well. just came back from my NCO's camp. we couldnt finish our promotion test and it have to be postpone to 23june. Many things happened during the camp and it really scared the shit out of us lah. Three of my friends saw those "FRIENDS" lah. we were so scared till we walked soooooooooooo fast to the toliet at night. awww. it's really scary, i swear! but afterall, i love the camp cos all of us were cooperative lah. the 13 of us are the best ones lah. ((: for 2 days, we didnt part. we go everywhere together,sleep together, eat together, kena scolding together..aww..i will remember those moments. those ups and downs we went thru. well. july we are going to take over everything already, i hope you guys will put your heart into it and lead our juniors to become a potential cadets. let's us show them a good example for them to follow. no matter what post we get, we gotta do our best alright? road ahead will be tough, but i know we are able to succeed. i love you guys! (: jIAYOU! hmm. i know i couldnt get the post i want, not only me, but i know all of us. i dont know what post i will get but seri0usly i hope it will be something i like lah. god bless me. haha! well. 7 more days to genting! im looking forward to it. ((: dont miss me people. lol. kay lah. gtg. byebye.

2007-05-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 6am, deciding whether to go school or not. i feel so sickishly but im so scared that im gonna miss many stuffs and so i pulled myself out of my bed. walked to school alone cos sharon didnt go school. hmm.. i slept throughout my chinese lesson. thanks wang fang for your understanding. ((: after school i went home straight. i got back home and sleep. and i just woke up.
the medicine really can kill people manx. eat lerh keep wanting to orh orh lah. buey ta han. hmm..nothing much about today. because im am sick! argh. i wanna get well soon lah! hmm. so so so...where are we going tmr, girlfriends? quickly plan and tell me alright.

to my dearest love;
i miss you.

2007-05-17T13:06:00.001+08:00

hello! it's like finally i get to blog lahs. my blogger had been down for one week already and i couldnt blog lorh. i bet you people miss me yea? nevermind nevermind. IM BACK! here i come..LOL. ((: well. but im down with some sickness. i just came back from seeing doctor. hope i get well soon yea. hmm..million thanks to my girlfriends who are worry for me. no worries kays. i'll be fine. ((: i will faster get well and entertain you all. hees. anyway, im gonna start study hard lerh. this mid year i had flung like fuck already. jiayou girl! i'll remember the promise that i promised you. i wont let YOU* down. hmmm.. okays. im gonna rest. take care people.. loves!

yongyuanaini.

2007-05-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

DISAPPOINTED!

sorry to myself, sorry to teachers, sorry to my parents.

i wasted my time. i dont know what am i doing. ):
i couldnt finish my maths paper, though it's easy.
And what's worst was, those questions i had done, it's wrong. ):
argh! i was so fucked up and moodless after the paper lah.
but thanks all my besties for cheering me up. espercially gan ma and shan.
Sigh. yes, it's over.
Im gonna concerntrate on tomorrow's chemistry paper. i dont know why my heart seems to be empty again.
no confidence for tmr's paper. ):
after school went to mac with gan ma and shan.
We chatted and i went off early.
i just woke up and gonna start studying for chemistry already.
it's the last paper tomorrow, and it's like finally. Finally i can take a break.
Im just too stressed and tired and stuffs that made me gone like a crazy girl.
i hate the feelings lah. i guess i didnt done my best for this midyear.
for i guess im gonna show some improvement in my attitude towards studying.
i'll work hard for next time derh. i promise! (:
wo hui dai zhe wei xiao mian dui ku nan. wo bu hui qing yi fang qi, wo yi ding hui nu li dao di.
though it's miserable, but still i have to keep the promise i made to myself.
i miss you so.

2007-05-07T19:52:00.000+08:00

im falling apart soon. but i just have to keep holding on. if this gonna continue, i'll be out of breath. tuition yesterday and tuition today again. i slept for only 4hrs last night. i chiong-ed physics and poa. went out to mac to eat with deardear at 2.30am. i keep studying and studying. i really need a break badly lah! then today phycics and poa papers were so terribly tough. im sure im gonna fail lah. when i was doing my physic paper, my stomach cramp like fuck till i couldnt do. my hands were so cold. ): i guess im falling sick soon. sigh. after school chiong-ed to simei for tuition. 4 HOURS OF MATH TUITION LAH! i just got home only. im damn uber tired. sigh. STRESSED! ): never been so stressed and tired before,i swear.

give me a break please, i need it badly.

AND im too busy to think of you.

SOON it's gonna be a month since i left.

):

2007-05-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 8am. wasnt so tired to wake up and i force myself to do so. met up with eunice at 8.45am and we went to school together. had math's remedial and after that went to techview to have my "DINNER" with shungirl,milkpartner and dabian. (: then me and and shun left for bedok. met up with shaozhiiiii and sharon. we then headed to LJS to study. i didnt study lah. ended up playing with raishun and chit chatting. LOL. felix then came. it's been so long we have been together lerh lah. then a while later sharon left to meet her friends and me,sha0zhi,shun and felix went to my house to talk ball and we went basketball-ing. i enjoyed myself lah. then went to buy bbt and slack at mac. had a great chat with them lah. then shaozhi left and me,shungirl and felix went to have our dinner. i wasnt feeling well. and i vomitted. )): sigh. hmm. then went home to take bike for jingzhou and mingfeng den sharon came back to chat with us. i just reach home and gonna sleep alr. im tired. tmr still got tuition and monday too. no time to study lerh. ): gonna chiong! tolerating! bear with just 6 more papers! jiayou ANGELLA!

he talked to me last night.
we had some chats.
and i cried myself to sleep last night.
sigh. ):
it's over.
i know the answer and i know what you mean.
friends is what we will always be.
that's enough.
i dont expect much.
zhi xi wang ni hui kai xin.
kan dao ni kai xin, wo ye hui kai xin.
jem, i will love you always.

2007-05-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

it's was a great day with my girlfriends. (: hmm. had english and biology papers today. may buddha bless me lah. hopefully can at least pass lah. after school went home to change and after that went to meet xiaozi and malingshu and we took 60 to eunos to meet milkpartner. (: then headed to tanah merah do meet my dear^3 and we went to SINGAPORE CHANGI AIRPORT. okays. fei ji yi li kai ji chang..ni xuan zhe le qian wang ni de fang xiang..blah blah blah. HAHA! we went to eat swensen. though i thought of the past but i did had a great day. know what? at first we played concerntration at the viewing mall then after that we played hide and seek lah. LOL. at first me and serena were the catcher and we caught them in a while time! hahas! then after that was raishun and liangzi being the catcher. ta men hao lan wor. HAHAHA. jkjk. ((: then we headed to ikea. we like so kuku lah. like never see furniture before! lols. had a great day lah. thank girls. ((: well. tmr going school for math's remedial. im a guaibaobao and i chose to go. meeting buddies they all after remedial to study. ((: wo yi rang hai shi guai bao bao. oh buddha. i really cant stand the bhb-ness i have. HAHA.

well. i still feel so fan. my june is totally packed lah. ): well. becos of going to genting, i have to miss my npcc's course and trip to kl,malacca and so on. And becos of my npcc's camp, i couldnt attend go to my history trip. sigh. in life, there's so much sacrifices? i really want to go for all lah. ): and june, im having so many course and i still have to attend camps. i shall really enjoy myself to the fullest in genting. it will be the only time i can relax myself before i die yah. why everything just clashed? it's affecting me so much. i promised them that i will be going to genting, but i really want to go with my squadmates too. how? sigh. qin fei de yi. i miss jem.

2007-05-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

Another day just passed. i had my hist and chinese papers. well. i dont know if im able to pass but there's no use brooding over it. well. raishun was rather cute but ben dan lahs. she didnt realise there are two li jie wen da and she only done one. 15 marks gone okays! HAIYOH. gong gong de ni. LOL. well. this was the first time we had our exams in the hall. it's was rather wierd? haha. went to canteen to slack after school with dear^2,dear^1,dear^3,huixin and sherry. part of relaxing ourselves from two heavy paper? LOL. after that went home straight. the first thing i done was to bath and then i slept. woke up and had instant noodle again as i was too lazy to go down to buy and i started studying for biology. then bestfriend came up my house to play maple and i silently studied in my room without pei-ing him. best friend, im sorry! i will make it up to you after my mid year. i promise! (: well. i just studied finish two chapters of my biology and i still got 4 more chapters to go. duodenum..jejunum..ileum..okays. there i go again. LOL. my god, may buddha bless me for tmr's paper. alas. MUAHAHAHA. that's an insult but im just joking around. ((: anyway, it's swensen day with my girlfriends tmr! (: yoohoo.

i still love him.
i still love JEREMY CHUA JIE MING lah!
)))))))))))))))))):
dont you rmb what's today date?
where's our 030307?!
SIGH.

2007-05-02T16:35:00.000+08:00

im home-d. walked to school in the rain this morning with deardear. And becos of this, my leg hurt till now. ): 1 month and 2 days and counting! genting-ing with my girlfriends! whenever i thought of it, im just so high~ ((: hmm. i was so guai during physics and math's lesson. i really sit down and listen to teacher's teaching and i followed along. guess i wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone bah. recess was worst. i saw HIM* but he didnt see me. sharon,meimei and raishun got a hard time blocking my view of him and his pic lah. wo zhi dao ni men shi wei wo hao. xiexie ni men. ke shi wo zhen de hen xiang ta..sigh. i wasnt in a good mood today. some stuffs just pissed me off but i dont wish to say. i went home straight after school to sleep and i just woke up. eating instant noodle now and later im gonna chiong history. god bless me for tmr's paper. and sorry raishun that i didnt pei you after school. i really need to study before it's really too late. and thanks zhixiong for offering to pei me home but sorry that i rejected. hmm. this year got so many events coming along. i got camps,trips and load of stuffs. okays. i just love to be busy! (: because that will be the moment i can stop thinking of you. i asked raishun a funny question, i asked her whether does she want to be a nun since love is so scary. she was like....LOL. im considering? LOL. hmm. in order to play safe,i just wanna stay out of love..that's my motto for my life now? hahaha!

ke shi wo hai shi xi huan ta. ):

2007-05-01T21:50:00.001+08:00

it's labour day today and it's been so long since i last slept so long can? haha. i woke up at 9am and used com till my brother woke up and he asked me to get lost.met up with deardear and we took bus down to ubi to meet raishun but we saw her on the bus. LOL. so qiao hur. Then we headed to meimei's house. We studied, we hw-ed, we chatted, we had fun together.it's the first time we four get to gather together yah. LOVE TODAY! (: well.i dont know why i had been having heavy intake this few days. LOL. wierd hur. okays. IM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO 4JUNE07! going genting with my girlfriends- sharon,raishun,tracy,liangzi and serene! (: im sure it's gonna be real fun okays.YOOHOO~! ((: then raishun's dad drove me home. thanks so much. (: i didnt went home, instead i went to play basketball a while.bestfriend's eyes were injured. weiming bu xiao xin slamed him. ): awww. so xin tong for him. bestfriend, take care hor! see lah, without me, you are so weak! LOLS. we shall meet up after mid year kays? i miss those time we spent together. (: hmm.history and Cl paper 2 are on thurs but i havent even prepare for any sub yet. im in dead shit already.i just dont know why i couldnt study. nothing just goes into my mind. i just stared into blank when teachers are talking. sigh. i dont know why. ):
miss you like crazy.

2007-05-01T21:02:00.000+08:00

2007-04-30T21:28:00.001+08:00

there's no bio test today. i was like..phew! i didnt study for it, and luckily i think mr chew forgotten. had a good time with raishun and eunice during chinese lesson. we seems to be holding a concert. LOL? well.im glad that i passed my english paper 1. PHEW! ((: after school went to mac with yubing,raishun,zhijian,huixin and tingting. after that karen and felix came. i finished my chem and i left mac at 6.15. i went home to rest and i went down to play. had a great time playing basketball and catching narhs. well. gonna rest early and im going to meimei's house tmr! (:

i saw you and you saw me today. im avoiding you and i knew you were avoiding me too. sigh. is it my fault to have let you know? i just hope time will heal and 030307* will still continue. wo hui deng zai na tian de dao lai.

my decisions had finalised. shi yin wei tai ai ni, suo yi wo xuan zhe zhe me zuo. duibuqi. this ending is never what i wanted. nothing we can do, but to accept the fact. ):

2007-04-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

someone who i ONCE LOVED.

Love is all you need,and I have it here inside of me.I never expected my heart to bleed,as I saw you trying to hide from me. oh why can't I be what you want?what you need and who you love?even if I'm losing hope,I still pray from up above. after all the giving and sacrificing,all I received is raging pain.and when I start to heal the hurt,you add up poison in my veins. you left me with a choice of death,and I feel I'm getting allured.soon I'll sing the longest goodbye,until I find the cure in you. you're no longer real to me,yet I still encourage myself to hold on.cause the strength of letting go,will make me more forlorn. and the warmth of my tear,melts my eyes with fear.and my only desire,is for you to be with me here. but it's impossible now,you don't even know me anymore.why can't you just perform,the promises you spoke before. love is indeed cruel,and so life isn't fair.cause now each day that I clasp,becomes a horrific nightmare. now tears will never dry up,and they will never be wiped anew.because every blessing I'd wish from God,will always result to you. there's nothing left to do but lie on my bed,and just pray for a brand new start.for even though you'd runaway from my head,you will always be in my heart.

2007-04-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

2007-04-29T09:12:00.000+08:00

28APRIL07*

it's over and i'll move on. It will be my last time crying over you and i'll forget you.
i knew what will be the answer and i knew we can never be together.
two parallel lines can never meet. i knew we are from two different world.
you told me you are not ready for a relationship but i know it was just an excuse.
i knew you still love her. And so, i'll let go.
Im so hurt when you sound so fucked up.
you sounded we can never like before. sigh. this was wat im so afraid of.
shall not think about it lerh. it's time to move on. anyway, im tired already.
just hope letting go will be a best choice for me.
im glad at least you did considered about it. im glad at least i wont regret not letting you know.
im glad at least you told me the truth and not keep me waiting. im glad enough at least you onced so care about me. i will never forget everything,espercially during the camp and how you motivated me. thanks for everything. let's time heal my wound bahs. and i really hope and wish and pray that we can still continue 030307*.

seeking for my happiness*
i will never give up on love.
i know one day i will find the right one for me.
so keep on trying!
no matter how many time im gonna fall, i'll stand up again.
i know my happiness is waiting for me.
i'll smile and overcome every obstacles.
(:

boy, this will be the last time, im saying..I LOVE YOU!
do take care of yourself and may you succeed in life.
MEIMEI will always be here supporting you.
byebye.

2007-04-28T09:46:00.000+08:00

i couldnt sleep. All my mind was just him. im waiting so anxiously now for his reply and so i decided to blog to kill time while waiting. I keep reading those msges again and again. I dont know what you will reply but before i say goodbye, i hope i've done a right choice by confessing it to you before i actually give up. Im prepared for the whatever outcomes. ru guo zhen de shou shang le, wo ye bu hou hui ai shang ni. i'll be glad at least you did consider me before. fa xian zi ji qi shi hen xi huan ni yi jing tai chi le. i know it wasn't a crush. because you manage to help me forget my past..wo shi fo neng gen ni zai yi qi mah? wo zhen de hen qi dai. liang ge bu tong de shi jie hui you qi ji mah? actually i find it so hard to confess it to you.it's take me lot of courage to do that lah.had been thinking should i or should i not for many days.but i couldnt hold it any longer and so i told you everything. ru guo qi ji mei chu xian, wo xi wang wo mei hai neng remains as korkor and meimei and continue our 030307. wo bu xi wang zhe yang, everything will end. i just wanna see your smile. of cos, i hope i can be the reason of your smiles. bu zhi bu jue, wo jiu sheng sheng de ai shang ni lerh. xi wang ni hui hao hao qu xiang. im waiting here. <33333333333333!

<3jcjm*>
you came into my life.

2007-04-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

it's a tiring day afterall. i ran for my 2.4km and my timing was 15.3 or 4 bahs. im utterly disappointed with my results but i cant blame myself cos i was having a fever at the moment. somemore my leg still hurts. after school had chem remedial and maths remedial. it's a scary day due to the bad weathers.i got scared and shocked by the thunder and lightning. after that went home to bath and get change. xiaoshan pei-ed me too. then we headed to techview to meet tracy and zhixiong then headed to zhixiong's house. well well..was supposed to study but we ended up chatting. okays. his dog was huge that im so afraid of. hahas. hmm.

i msged him and told him everything that i had been hiding.
boy, i will be waiting for your reply.
you think carefully bahs.
no matter what,i will still love you.

ru guo wo shi zhen de shi xiang qu dai , wo ye bu hou hui ai shang ni.
it's worth loving you rather than loving HIM*
instead,xie xie ni bang le wo wang le ta.

boy, i miss you.

2007-04-26T20:17:00.000+08:00

WHAT A WORST DAY I HAD.
it's the 26th today and im trying to cheer up. had my oral test and im sure im gonna fail. believe and trust me.
MRSTAN: "how you find about how you did?" ME: "huh..er..i guessed i did badly" MRSTAN: " EXACTLY! what's wrong?" MRSTAN: " WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS?" ME: "Im so lost at the moment."
she commented alot at me. my heart sank lahs. i was like....... ):
after school went to pasir ris with mokk,sharon,yubing,yubing's dear,raishun and sean. mok bought his birthday bag. ((: hmm.
i was farking moodless espercially you msged me.
how could this happen? i stoned when i received your msg. wei she me yao zai wo fang qi de shi hou, ni cai gao shu wo ni gen ta yi jing fen shou lerh? im so pissed off and confused at the moment. so pissed off with what you said. so confused of what am i gonna do. are you there to read this? i wondered. yi zhi yi lai, wo dou yi zhi mo mo de an lian zhe ni. wo bing mei you yong qi gao shu ni, yin wei wo hai pa shou da shang hai. i waited so long. but after so much, i chose to give up. but why out of the sudden things turn out like that? im so confused now. it's pulling me back after all. sigh. honestly speaking, i dont know when and why did i fall for you. i can see a big gap between us. we are unlink. but... how on earth will i addicted to you? ni zhi dao wo yi zhi dou zai ni sheng bian mah? whenever i listened to qin fei de yi, i really will thought of you. im so crazy over you. ke shi ni yi zhi dou bu zhi dao. yin wei wo mei you yong qi gao shu ni qi shi wo hen xi huan ni. i dreamt of you last night. this is the second time i dreamt of you. i was like.... ): why lah? i saw you after eng lesson today. you walked passed me..i was like... sigh. whenever i see you and her..i was like..sigh. should i give up or secretly wait for you? JCJM<3>
xuan yi tiao zi ji xi huan de lu, bu ru xuan yi tiao yong yuan kai xin de lu.

2007-04-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

ages since i last blog? LOL. no longer a dead blog already lahs! wo hui lai ler.. LOL. hmmm. had been studying..playing my game..for the past few weeks. was kinda busy lahs. got remedial,tuition and stuffs. Just finished my eng and chi paper one and i find it QUITE easy larhs. But social studies i will never pass. Becos i never really study it. i wasnt in the mood before the day. I know i will fail before the exam. ): jiayou ANGELLA! you cant continue like this. hmm. well. today was just a normal day lorh. took some pics with XIAOSHAN,XIAOZI AND MALINGSHU during hist lesson.had physics and maths remedial after school. OKAYS. IM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH TRIGO! (: shi ta ma de hao wan can! LOL. after school went to play bball. hmm. had been real close with raishun now a days. she is always so fun to be with and i really love her larhs. i love DEARDEAR too! (: get well soon oh. hmm. tmr got oral exam. it had always been my fear. i simply afraid of oral lah. and mrs tan ai ling is our examiner. wtf?! kaox. GOD BLESS ME. OH BUDDHA! lmao. dearCUTE's words really make sense and really hit me up. thanks girl.

chong jing tian qi, wo bu xiang zai kan dao ni.
ai shang ni shi ge cuo.
wo hui ba ni yong yuan wang ji.
bu hui zai xiang ni lerh.
li kai yi hou, wo bu hui zai hui tou lerh.

2007-04-10T19:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to this song of my blog , reading those poems , my tears dropped eventually.

Just don't hurt me you said,When we used to be,But now you've turned around,And did the same thing to me.I don't wanna know you,Not since you walked away,You've left my heart broken,You didn't even stay.And now you wanna listen,Walk around like it's all right,Talk like it never happened,Did you just dream of holding me tight?What about all of those moments?Our kisses and holding hands,If there are any other reasons,Won't you help me understand?You just got up and walked,Left me out in the cold,And I feel so worthless,With out having someone to hold.Why have you done this?Just dropped everything we had,What have I done?For you to hurt me so bad.It was amazing for me.But was it even real for you?Did it mean anything at all?Was our love ever true?Because I loved you baby,I gave you all of me,Did you forget the plans?All we were to be.Or was it all just lies?Just to tear me apart,Because now you've hurt me,And I'm nursing a broken heart.

2007-04-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

Morning i was still feeling good until 1.30pm when i realised my phone kena virus after zhixiong send me songs and my mood turned so suck. Friends, im deeply sorry about my attitude today. hmm. Went to bedok after school to repair my phone. it's costed me 30 bucks larh. okays. i declared that im broke already. sigh. though my phone is fine now but all my songs had gone. ARGH! had been find back those songs already. it's gonna be hard lo. after that took bus back alone. went to soccer court to meet those soccer's freak. bestfriend nearly get into fight larh. hmm.. thanks dragon for sending me those songs again and again. (: after that saw sharon and serene and sat down to talk to them. serene started to look at my hand..she said i got two person im deeply love. i know one of them is who..but the another one i seriously got no idea. maybe will appear soon? maybe is HIM* ? i dont know. and my future career wasnt bad. i hope it's true too. LOL. just got home and bestfriend just came up my house to take my baobei bike. hope he will help me take good care of it lorh. tmr got bio test..i shall sleep early and wake up at 4am tmr to study for it. i could see the big change in me.. and i just made a promise to my jiejie that i will study hard. im not gonna let her down. she watched me grow up since i was sec 1..i know she had been waiting to see the change in me..im glad you didnt give me up.. jiejie,i love you to bit and pieces. thanks for everything! (: and it's just two more days to me and serena 's 3rd months of sistership. LOVE YOU GIRL! bleahs. and so xintong..milkpartner is sick. ): take care oh. DAPOOH want you get well soon larh! misses.

i don even have the courage to look into your eyes.
wo hao hai pa.

2007-04-08T20:35:00.000+08:00

it's sunday and as usual it's my me and deardear's tuition day. i woke up at 9.30am and meet deardear at 10.30am for breadfast at macdonald. took bus 8 to tampines and change to bus 9 to changi rise. today tuition lasted for four hours larhs. imagine sitting down for 4 hours doing maths. it's a big challenge for me okays. Poor me and dearDEAR. then met with raishun and banbee and we went east point to have our lunch. after that headed to LJS to do our hws. got this two bitches keep fucking around. damn fuck larhs. me and deardear were sooooooo angry! as usual..raishun keep laughing non-stop.i just dont know how to stop her larhs. okays. i just love the time being with them (: after that me and deardear took bus 5 back. i went to soccer court to find shuzheng they all and slack for a while. headed home and use com and am msging with jingsheng now. so funny chatting with him. ((: that's all for today. im sleeping early today.

im so tanned! going to be more tann and tann. ((:
i love to bathe in the sun. YEAH YEAH YEAH!

2007-04-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

met up with sharon,shuzheng,zhijian,banbee,shaozhi,jolyn and binshan. went to play basketball at 629 there then we decided to go so many places but end up we went to east coast. me,shuzheng and shaozhi cycled there and the rest took bus there. we really chiong-ed there larh. so tiring can! we reached there before they reached larh. they rent bikes and we went cycling. then we headed to lagoon to have our dinner. waited for seats like fcuk larh. from day light wait tilll night can! hmm. ate finish then me,shaozhi and shuzheng cycled back den the rest took bus home lorh. came back house here and i met up with sharon again. had some chat with her and PLAYING THE GAME! lols. then got home and had some chat with my bro and mum. and im going to sleep now. byes.

sigh. i had been thinking of you the whole day.
you just keep staying on my mind.
everyday is the same..how am i able to forget you?
sigh..haoxiangni. ):
once again, i shed for you.
how foolish can i be...

2007-04-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

woke up at 10plus this morning. i slept for 8 hours. it's been so long since i last slept till so long lerhs. had been feeling dead tired last few days. feel so shuang today. hahas! chatted on the phone with jingsheng a while and im now waiting for him to call back again. meeting banbee,joyln,mok and sharon at eunos cc to play ball later on. it's been so long i last played basketball. though i had been busy with my daily life, basketball is still my life. the passion i had for basketball will never die. it is my only enjoyment. (: well. i miss those time hoping onto my bike and dash on the road. i miss night cycling with my buddies. i miss my WONDERFUL PLACE and not forgetting DIRT-BIKING! (: i miss those fun time so much larhs! hmm. as usual..tmr is my sentosa day! every sat is my sentosa day larhs. so remember dont jio me out on sat hur. (: sun-tanning had become my hobby. i love SUN, i love RAIN! (: AND i wanna take up canoe-ing lesson. i wanna diving. i wanna ride a ship. OUTGOING HUR! lols. i simple love water sports since young larhs. soon you guys will see DAPOOH being CHAOTAH liao larhs. hahas! okays. to be continued.

im in love with the song ' IM ALL OUT OF LOVE ' .
the lyric suit me so much.

2007-04-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 4am this morning to study for my social studies test. Met sharon at 6.45 and we walked to school today. School was boring as usual larhs. I slept during physics lesson larhs. So tired okays. Then after english lesson, i saw JINGSHENGKORKOR(: hees. then recess i saw HIM* he smiled at me. And suddenly i missed him so much. During history lesson, I could see miss oh was angry with me and haziq. We haven been listening to her lesson since the starting and im sure i will fail history badly. I definitly know nothing about history. HAHA! After school went to take my social studies test in the general office. IT'S SO SCRARY! Many teachers keep looking at me larhs. I was like...WTF?! hahas! then a while later allan came and he also have to take test. So he was behind me and we cheated. LOLS. ((: Then after my test, went concourse to find SHARON & RAISHUN. They were waiting for me. Then RAISHUN came to my house cos DAPOOH wanna change. LOL. SHARON went home changed too.MY MONEY LOST! i guessed i really really got STM. I forgotten where i put larhs. ARGH! ben si lerhs. Hmm. Then went to 150 there to meet banbee and mokk, took bus 5 to eastpoint mall then bought some stuffs and took shuttle bus to banbee's house. IM HERE AT HIS HOUSE NOW! (: they are playing mahjiong and this stupid here dont know how to play. OPPS. shhhh~! am waiting for FELIX to come so he can entertain me. Well.I hope our friendship will not be affected becos of someone who doesnt worth us to be unhappy about. ALRIGHT? okays. that's all about my day till now. BYE HUMANS!

wo hao xiang gao shu ni qi shi wo hen xi huan ni.

2007-04-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

there's so much ups and downs lately. This moment im high but next moment i can cry. What's happening? sigh. im was being pulled down by mrs cheah. why does she have to keep on picking on me? it hurt me deep inside. There's many things on my mind. I HOPE OUR FRIENDSHIP CAN STILL BE LIKE BEFORE BAHS. and i really had to reflect on my study methods. I was damn duper uper moodless and down today. I felt so stressed up and so i decided to talk to MR LAU. i felt better after talking to him. he sort of counselled me and encouraged me. thanks MR LAU. after school attended the power learn, us usual it's boring. before that went to kalam with laogong and dear^3 and brought icecream and moomoo sweets for MILKPARTNER. Then after that waited for laogong at concourse. Then headed to tech view and they had their dinner while i do my stuffs. Raishun and hazel went home and me and laogong went to mac to meet serene,sharon and bingshan. We had so much fun talking craps and acting retard larhs. we went to 121 for dinner and i saw dariusKORKOR. so long didnt see him already. hope he is fine bahs. that's all already. nothing much to say. i just dont know how long more can i still hold on. LOVE+FRIEND+LIFE= SUCKS!

thanks to FELIX,SHARON AND RAISHUN.
if you guys wasnt here, i guess i wont even have today.
million thanks for adding colours to my life and lead me all along.
im grateful and i promise we will stay like this no matter what.
AI NI MEN OH~!

trying to hold on.
it's miserable and tiring.
sigh.
sigh.
sigh.

2007-03-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY,15MARCH07

hmm.went to bedok with mum and after that went tm to see phone.okays.i guess im buying N73 or W850i. most likely N73 larhs.im just so attracted to it. ((: hopefully next thur i can buy.im waiting! yoohoo~ new phone! one step towards forgetting you? LOL.i dont give a damn about you larhs.damn you.HAHAS.went home and best friend came my house to play maple.went down at 6pm to play basketball.we talk talk play play slack slack till 7.40 and we were so gan chiong.we borrow bike and dash to buy maple prepaid card cos 7.30pm to 8.30pm got two times! we dont wanna miss it. then i injured my leg.it bleed alot larhs.argh! but maple is still more important. ((: weeee. aftet playing,went to bath then chat with the lil dirty boy.well. tmr got training,should i pon? so lazy to go larhs.argh.what's happening with me? i haven done hws and alot of stuffs.i didnt went for training on wed lerhs. argh. how how? lols. live life with no worries* ((: i just love the life im leading now.though it's A BIT bored but im happy enough to lead a simple life. love wont be the first piority in my life.i can promise that.i believe time can prove to me alot of things and heal my wounds too.be it friend or stead,it will still be the same.if it's the right one,he will always be by your side.love doest need to rush.it take times to find the true one. what's yours will be yours. ((: if you rush,it wont be call love.i hope YOU* will be the one always by my side.prove to me that there's still a word "FOREVER", will you? it's hard for me to believe in everlasting already.those wounds in my heart had hurt me deeply.so deeply that im tired of loving.give me the strength to love somebody again hao marhs? but i know love someone doesnt need to be together.as long as you know yourself that you truly love him or her,that's enough.the worst part is you dont even know who you love.i had already put love a side.i just wanna play hard and study hard.love is just pain to my life,so i doesnt want to hurt myself again.i just wanna play safe so my heart wont break again.i just wanna have a happy and a memorable teenage life.i just wanna spend everyday happily without letting others to affect me.i will treasure every happy moments because im big enough to think already.teenage's life will be over soon.road ahead will be tough and not easy to go thru and so that's why we need to be happy now.no point upset over things that had been over.who don want to be happy right? since you want to be happy,be yourself and stay happy.life will be meaningful if you handle it well. ((: think positively always! life is great. be happy that you get to live before yeah? hees! byes.

FRIDAY,16MARCH07

i woke up at 11am and was deciding whether to go for training.i msged the MASTER and my darling and they told me they not going so i didnt went too.chatted with haopengyou and i poured out everything to her.thanks girl.thanks for being there.played maple all the way until 4pm then i went to have my breadfast.hahas! bought food for uncle and i went up to his house for a while.then went home do some of my hws.then went down to play basketball and soccer. ((: then went to eat then went home.watched tv and after that talked to jovi on the phone.i was wondering why today my dirty boy didnt call me. ): what happen? hmm.

SATURDAY,17MARCH 07

woke up and i played maple awhile.went to meet best friend for breadfast then he pei-ed me go bugis meet the dirty boy and jovi.came back around 6 plus and went to slack.just got home and im going to play maple.

hmm.im still thinking if i should leave you.no point being together when you dont even tell me your stuffs.i tried my best to be a good jiejie already.you disappointed me. sigh. i will just hold on a bit longer.kinda bu she de too. ): sigh.

i had changed.im no longer the one who are strong to keep holding on to something.

now,i will let go of things easily.i will let go what im unhappy about.

i dont want to get hurt anymore.that's the reason why i wont be holding on.

because of my past,i became like that.because of a love,i changed so much.

because of someone,my life had gone.

how useless am i? such a fool to be played all along.

2007-03-15T09:52:00.000+08:00

okays.yesterday was with best friend for the whole day.we didnt part for 10hours larhs.just so fun being every moment with him larhs.once my best friend,always my best friend.i treasure MR LIE SHU ZHENG loads! (: we played maple together,played basketball together,ate together.actually we wanna ton derhs.wanna ask bestie to come drink along but in the end best friend's dad dont allow him to ton. ): okays.den i went home played maple and talked to that lil dirty boy until 1.30am and i went to sleep.woke up 9am and i went market with my mum and dad.later going out with mum.then at night maybe got tuition at simei.dont know change date lerh marh.hahas.kays larh.i got to go already.byes!

liang zhi lian ren shou qian shou.
i love you dearie.

treasure and cherish?
you are just a big fat liar.
you are never a true one.
i was just blind in the past.

2007-03-14T11:35:00.000+08:00

what i unlucky day i had.im phoneless now so dont contact me or msg me. ): woke up at 7.30am and went to school for physics remedial.i couldnt concerntrate after the break time cos i keep thinking about my handphone. argh. ): the worst part is my dearie's handphone kena confiscated and my phone is spoilt.how are we going to contact?! sigh.i will miss you boy.guys,tell me your numbers so i can drop it down.IM WRITING EVERYONE NUMBER ON A PIECE OF PAPER LARHS.do damn budget like that. LOLS. no choice larhs.saving money now to buy new handphone.argh.how long will i take? )): and and and im damn pissed off cos i saved everyone number in the phone and not sim card.FUCK RIGHT? now it's spoilt and i dont remember anyone number larhs.i hate my phone larhs.damn it! nevermind.now everything had gone.even those things that im unwilling to delete had all gone.it's time for me to start afresh and forget about all those things.though it's gone,those pics and msgs will always be kept in my heart.i will definitly remember them.i have been fearing that my phone will spoil one day and the day had come. sigh. should i be happy or sad? i dont know. ):

2007-03-13T10:25:00.000+08:00

im a maplefreak now. ((: yesterday woke up at 8am and went to school for maths remedial.though it's boring but i had loads of fun there larhs.i didnt pay attention instead we crapped and joked around larhs.hahas.then after school walked home and along the way,chatted with raf for a while.then reached home,had my breadfast and chiong maple.joseph came to my house too.he helped me to hunt for stuffs and i had completed the CNY quest which will be due on tmr.hahas! yeahs! ((: then played for 6 hours of maple and i went down to find bestfriend.eric pei-ed me go had my dinner then he went home chiong maple already.everyone is chiong-ing maple now larhs.what's happening? hahaha.best friend wanna play maple too so he went up to my house.then bestie came my house just to teach me one math question which i dont know.so wth right? haha.thanks anyway.then 8pm plus,best friend went home and me,bestie and uncle went to 146.
okays.zaizai hen ke ai~ ((: hmm.then i went home at 10pm plus and i chiong-ed maple again.hahaha! then talked to phone with HIM* awhile and he asked me to call him back in a while but i chiong maple till i forgot. lols. and i went to sleep. didnt see his msges and calls too. sorry boy. duibuqi ): hmm.just woke up and i didnt went for maths remedial today.too lazy already.going to play maple already.byes! anyway,yesterday is the 12th and so HAPPY TWO MONTHS HAOPENGYOU!

play maple somemore and im sure i will die very soon.
haven end my homeworks yet larhs!

2007-03-11T10:41:00.000+08:00

yesterday i woke up had my breadfast and i took bus down to bedok to play lan with weiming,sarah,xiaoeric and lester.thanks xiaoeric and weiming for training me. ((: im lvl 14 already.yoohoo~hahas! played until afternoon then we went off.we went to cc play basketball but i couldnt play.cos im body ache like fuck. ): i wanna play basketball!! hmm.arghx..lester and joseph so cute larhs! make me laugh till pengz can.yesterday was a laughing day is it? hahaha! hmm.then at night went to eat with weiming lorhs.then went home to chiong maple.chiong-ed until 11pm,my korkor wanna use come already so i went to chat on the phone with samuel. ((: chatted with me till morning 3am then we hang up.i wasnt tired yet so i went to chiong maple again until 5am then i went to sleep.i just woke up and i guess im lacking of sleep larhs.lols..okays. TODAY IS 11MARCH07 and it's me and serena 2nd months of sisters! mickeymouse,i love you okays.though i always love to disturb you and quarrel with you,but deep down in my heart,you are my precious meimei.jiejie wont leave you derhs.promise* hees.take care girl.i know you gonna miss me during the hols.hahah! i will miss you too. =p loves loves loves! hmm.well..im going to chiong maple liao.byes.

it's great without you hanging on my mind.
cos i had no longer love you.
instead,i hate you to bit and pieces. (:

2007-03-10T07:27:00.001+08:00

it's 7.15am now.i woke up so early becos i slept early last night.i woke up and my whole body ache like fuck.yesterday got PE and after school went back home to take my np's stuffs and along the way,my left side of my stomack hurt like shit.i wonder is it my old injury. )): hopefully it's not bahs.then went training and training is damn tiring larhs.do three round of rehearsal,standing under the hot sun and i really feel like fainting larhs.everything ended at 6.30 and laogong waited for me to go home together.thanks laogong! (: hees.*wo men shi tiao jing huang he ye xi bu qin le* many people are talking about us larhs.LOLS.hmm. on my way home,korkor called me.i was so shocked okays.hehe..he got camp and im sure i going to miss him alot alot lerhs.during the parade,when i march passed him,he was smiling at me larhs.SOOOOO CUTEEEEE! ((: hehe.then reached home and had my dinner and i jiu went to bed already.tired larhs.hmm..well.going back to school on mon for maths remedial at 9am,tues for maths remedial at 9am too and wed for physics remedial at 8am then 1.30 got np training.then fri got np training.argh! it need so much effort to be GOH larhs.i tot it was fun but it just torturing.hmm..ATC is at august,my dearest squamates,can you guys put the interest into it? i know it a long camp but we are going to be NCO soon.bear with it alright? we have to show a example to our juniors.please come for training regulary.WORK,PLAY,DRILLS,REST,WE ARE THE BEST! dont forget.NPCC IS MY LIFE. ((:

2007-03-10T07:00:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAH! MY DARLING! SO CUTE!
GRADDED THIS PIC FROM HAIDAR. (:
he is one of my love ones.im so touched by him!
know what? cos our results was real bad and mr lau wanted to separate us and mr lau asked him who he want to sit with and he say he wanna sit with me. then mr lau say he cannot sit with me but he still say he want sit with me.he said that for 5 times larhs.and mr lau get sort of angry and he say if he say my name one more time,he going to separate us to east and west.LOLS. touching right?

2007-03-08T15:52:00.000+08:00

it's just a plain normal school day.was trying to pay attention in class today and i see the improvement in me.it's hard for someone who has hyperactive to do such thingy okays.after school went to office there and my mum and gan ma was there already,waiting for my teacher.i hate being naggg by them larhs! arghx.both mr lau and mrs said the same thing to my mum that my ability of learning is slow.i admitted that.and i know i cannot sit down and keep quiet larhs.i guess once in a week? and that will be a day im sad if not i will definitly make a lot of noise. lols. im sure it's gonna be busy for me already.yeahs..i love it! i just love to be busy instead of nothing to do.studies is my everything now! (: and i miss the touch of my basketball larhs.well..meeting best friend later and we going to play. ((: yeah yeah.going to have a good game and at night going to study.sometime humans need breaks too.im not make of metal okays. bleahs. tmr is the last day for term one and gonna have 1 week hols.but i guess i dont call it a hols larhs.it's even busier lorhs.hahas..mum,dont worry! wo hui hao hao du shu de.ANGELLA JIA YOU! hees.

my results.
L1R5- 37.
pro? i know. lols.

2007-03-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

it's time for me to settle down and study hard.looking at those results,my heart sank..but i didnt give up.instead it pushes me to study harder.though im sucks now but i know i will make it one day.im not like others who learn things first but my never-give-up spirit is strong.im someone who is perserverance.i dont care what others will think of me.i will as while be a guai kia now than be useless freak in the future.no matter how hard lifes gonna be,i know i still have to be brave and go thru everything.same goes to studies,no matter how difficult it is,i still have to persist.if i study hard now,i know i will succeed in life someday.im happy with my life now,because love had gone out of me.i have less problem now. (: i guess i will only have problems in studies from now on.first piority for me is to study hard and nothing else.love had finally got out of my life and i dont wish to talk about it again.friends is what i want now and not boyfriend and friends are those who are good friends.i felt i had grown up so much larhs.hahas.and i promise i will treasure everyone around me.treat me nice and definitly i will treat you nice in return.i wont forget those precious ones who enlighted my life.weets.well.today after school went to library with FU GE SHAUN SHAUN and syhidah to do our maths project.we finished and i followed them to canteen.they played magic cards and i sit there do my maths and meanwhile waiting for my deardear to end her geo class.then went to eat at 150 and after that saw bestfriend and we went to slack for awhile.then i went home.just done finished my homeworks and im resting now.am going back to study for my hist test tomorrow soon.IM A GOOD GIRL NOW. (: bleahs.

okays. girl, it's just 4 more days and still counting down.
i love you larhs my dearest cutie meimei.
we expressed our love thru quarrels larhs.
i have a idiot meimei who loves to diao me.
hahas! (: 110107*

andandand of cos not forgetting my HAOPENGYOU! <3
5 more days (:
loves and enjoyed being your friend larhs.
friends forever~ !

i love,loves,loved,loving MY BAOBEI JIEJIE.
nobody can ever replace you in my heart.
you are my one and only jiejie,my baobei forever!
(:

2007-03-06T21:44:00.001+08:00

boy,thanks for helping me yeah.presley is my DA EN REN larhs! (: waited for him at study area today.he was late.haha..had a boring day larhs.then cme lesson was fun.me and haopengyou was talking about her experiences of playing dei xian.okays..i know it's scary but i wanna play it.i shall find one night when i couldnt sleep and i shall try to play it.just hope nothing will happen to me.curiousity may kill me one day,i guess? or anybody wanna play? jio me and i will definitly want.haha.after school had the power workshop and i find it quite interesting narhs.well,im scared of thursday.i wouldnt dare to misbehave in class today.i scared mr lau would complain more to my parents larhs.definitly my parents gonna nag at me.i just have to face the music.after school went to meet laogong.went to his class and do bio larhs.okays. my prince charming,HIS* desk was just behind and i wrote some words on it.hope he get to see it.waited for deardear for her lesson to over larhs.meanwhile had sooo much fun with laogong.we watched **** larhs.HAHAHA! honry and sick okays.then went to eat at 121 with deardear,laogong and meimei.saw JIEJIE too. (( so happy! bleahs. okays."I HAD DISOWNED SERENA TODAY!" you dont regret. hmm.just got home and im going to bath and do my work already.byes.

i <3>
AWWW. pandas brighten up my life. just love it so much.
hao ke ai~

im not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everything is okay.
i will not cry cos everything will be fine.
strong girl,i am.

okays.IM NOT STUPID NOR SHORT!
i hate poeple who looked down on me.

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

my tears drop.why do you have to keep telling me about him? you should know im down already and why are you adding oil to fire? sigh.i dont wish to see him! i dont wish to talk to him! i dont wish to think of him EVER EVER AGAIN.he's a liar and i felt like a fool.i tot you was a nice guy but i was deeply wrong.i didnt know you were such a flirt which have been fooling around.wtf! im blind larhs.i promise i will never think of you from today onwards.

went to school with deardear and know what? he came and talked to me.i replied in a fucking attitude larhs.was a tiring day today.sigh..mr lau called my parents.they have to come down on thurs.sians..cos of my bloodly hell results,cos of me not doing hws and cos of my fucking attitude.i dont give a damn about it larhs.my mood simply sucks today and guess not only today..next few days too larhs.i just got the feelings things will get more worst.i just hope and pray it will not come true larhs.okays..went to library after school to do my 25 newspaper article.korkor (((: was there too.hehe.presley and hazel helped me with my article too.thanks! ((: presley keep di siao-ing me larhs.heyhey,IM A GOOD GIRL OKAYS! lols.went to eat with laogong,hazel and deardear and jiu went home liao.im not done with my articles yet.got to go.bye humans.

im just trying hard to find someone to replace YOU*
but no matter how hard i tried,i still could feel the irreplaceable of you in me.
we are just two lines that will never meet,just so far away from each other.
i could feel the distance between us,i could see you fading away.
but still here,i call you my love.
i run to a far away island to isolate myself,but i got hurt even more.
love seems to be the scariest thing i've ever gone thru,but i still couldnt say i dont love you anymore.
you are the only happiness in my eyes and if one day you were to ask me back,
i promise i will still say,i will.
** this is what i wrote during history lesson.i love to pen down my feelings.
more to come.it's a miracle if im able to write something happy.

i hope things will get better.
jiejie, meimei love you.

2007-03-04T14:23:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a great day for me.it's been so long since i played soo happily.hmm..i woke up at 8am yesterday after 13 hours of sleep and look thru my history file and i got a hard time trying to remember those answer.10.45pm i walked to school and some of my classmates were there already.we had our history retest cos all of us had failed it.lols.just like me,i got only 7/25 larhs.okays..hopefully these time will pass.we were so funny larhs.when miss oh walked away,they went to look at the answer larhs.i couldnt because my file was with miss oh.so i just have to think and think and trying to write down when i read that morning.i couldnt rmb quite alot.okays.i got poor memory alright.so dont blame me.just hope and pray i will pass that's all. (: walked home with raf and we talked quite alot yahs? cheer up girl! i know life is boring,same goes to mine larhs.you are not alone yeah.hmm..then went home get changed and went to meet bestfriend.he was waiting for me under my block larhs.sorry to keep ya waiting.then we went to eat at 150 and we went to slack.we were thinking of places to go..firstly we thought of going to watch norbit,i know it's nc16 larhs but we wanna smuggle in. ((: secondly,we thought of going ETP but it rained suddenly and the price is expensive larhs.thirdly we thought of going euro fun park which i really really want to go.it's will be closing on 18 march and i really have to go ASAP larhs.but think of it,it still raining and the rides will definitly be wet larhs.so know where we ended going? hahas! we went to play basketball at eunos cc with weiming.haha! they played awhile only and left me alone there shooting.after that went to have bbt and rest-ed awhile.okays.then we went back to 137.karrieBABY they all came,told baby about my xin shi and she told me hers too larhs.but she went off so fast..so long didnt see her and seems like she very da mang ren now hur? haha.okays..it's was raining heavily and me,bestfriend,sarah,shirley,kar wee,kar hin,botak,dragon,jordon,hanteck,weiming were playing soccer.a bunch of mad people playing larhs.but we really had loads of fun.i swear i really enjoyed it.it's the very moment i will not think of anything. ((: thanks bestfriend for everything.and to your questions which you asked me,no matter what,we will always be together alright? till death tear us part.dont worry boy,let's not think of the future,i promise i will never forget you. (: loves shuzhengBESTFRIEND to bit and pieces. ((: 4 years of friendship and so on,i wouldnt forget.then went home get change and went to have dinner with them.stupid weiming..he went to squeeze the chilli sauce and it spatted on me larhs..and im wearing the shirt that someone special bought for me one larhs..i was like..argh! so xin tong can.hopefully the stained can be wash away if not i will screammmmmmm~ okays.then we have some chat.they keep di siao-ing me and bestfriend larhs.wtf right? we are just very very very damn bloodly hell best of friends larhs.yeah yeah.he is my BOY-FRIEND okays! hahs.that's lame..well.i gtg chiong my 25 newspaper article which have to be handed in on monday.im in dead shit. ((: goodbyes.

sweet memories,i thought of.

2007-03-01T21:10:00.001+08:00

walked to school with deardear this morning.saw bestfriend under my block and we talked awhile.both good girl and good boy now hur..kinda miss those times we had together lahs.looked thru poa awhile but i bet i will still fail.i didnt balance ): and i swear i will fail chemistry too.sigh ): am i born stupid or wat? how many tests i failed liao?! ANGELLA,PLEASE WAKE UP! im so disappointed in myself.well..i had loads of fun with laogong today.thanks for enlighting my day.went to mac with binshan,deardear and laogong.was walking in the rain again.then reached there saw JIEJIE! and yiling,karen were there too.i went to buy my stuffs and went mac to joke with them.ahhhhh! we were all soooooo sick and horny larhs.LOLS.those dirty lil joke make my mood better.haha? hmm.wrote jiejie a letter and i put it on the table when she wasnt around.sigh.. ): just hope you will stay happy.then went home.had some chat with mum just now and sigh..so many things happening. ): im dead tired and sick of this life.told haopengyou my xin shi today..feel abit better larhs..but im still..sigh.wo bu yuan zai cheng shou yi qie le..ai de hao lei..zhen de hao ku le..wo zhen de zhen de hen xiang fang qi suo you de yi qie..i wanna leave this world alone. ))))))))))):

i acted as though im strong.
but im weak inside.
faked a smile days by days.
i wonder,really wonder,when will i be happy again?

well.10 more days to 2nd months with serenaMEIMEI.
im waiting and counting down.
just love to disturb her so much.
my cutie mei,jie love you!

andand 11 more days to 2nd months with HAOPENGYOU!
love you girl.thanks for being my listening ear.
im always there for you too.
friends forever~

sweethearts that rocks my life and i treasured with my heart and soul.
sharonDEAR2,raishunDEAR3,yubingMEI cum DEAR1,banbee,shuzhengBESTFRIEND,cherylJIE,xiangxiangMADDYGIRL,karrieBABY,felixLAOGONG,mok,liangziHAOPENGYOU,serenaMEI,joanneCHOUCHOUDABIAN,jeremy,vanessaBESTIE,geraldDEARESTFRIEND,gladys3KL,liyue3KL,zhengxueKOR.
love them all (:

she's always on my mind,
from the time i wake up
'till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know

though she's so far away
it's just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on

so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go

maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray
'cause heaven knows

my friends keep telling me
that if you really love her
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine

so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go

why i live in despair
'cause wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave
i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so...

heaven knows

2007-02-28T19:32:00.001+08:00

okays.went school with a swollen eyes cos yesterday i cried badly.i cried from afternoon till the moment i slept.though i was talking to you* but i acted as though im really fine.but nobody knows was actually crying and crying instead.went to school with sharon lorhs.mr lau asked me to go out of the class as he wanted to talk to me.he scolded me becos of my result larhs.okays.i know i failed quite alot. sigh ): it's time for me to really settle down and put everything aside.espercially the word "LOVE". ): because of YOU* i have been pulled down.im learning to stand on my own feet once again.i will not fall this time.i wasnt really sure why mr lau asked me to stand up today.but i know i was being rather rude.he asked me to stand up but i replied him "I DONT WANT TO STAND!" then he was like getting more angry liao then he asked me to stand again.this time i stand but once i stand,i sit back.i dont know what happen to me either.hmm..then after school he* pei-ed me home in the rain.i cried when i was bathing just now. sigh..so much things and how could i take it? firstly i heard you* like other guy liao,secondly i saw jlyb and her together..thirdly i saw him* keep looking at her.sigh larhs.. ))))))))))): well.going to get change and go study with my bestie.byes.

i just have to admit i still love you* alot alot.
bu neng zuo ni yi sheng de qing ren,dan zhi xiang zuo ni yi sheng de hao peng you.
loads to tell you but sigh..
i guess you didnt feel anything when i said those words on the phone to you.
sigh.i know you had long forgotten me.
im useless.

2007-02-27T20:06:00.000+08:00

walked to school alone as sharon didnt go school,banbee was waiting for me at the gate larhs.then pei-ed him and after that went back to class.heard some stuffs from yiwei and im so touched by HIM*. (: hmm.cramp like fuckkkkkkkkkk during physic lesson.ate medicine and it still hurt alot alot.but luckily during assembly,i felt better.then met banbee and mok and we went to take bus to tm.along the way,sharon got up too.then headed to tm and have sushi and sharon wanna buy some stuffs.then went bedok and all was feeling rather restless.then after that mok and banbee went home and me and sharon went to market to eat.her sister came too.then walked a while and went home.just chatted with jiejie and sigh..hais..i still have to thank jiejie for telling me the true which everyone have been hiding from me..hais..even if you dont love me anymore,i still have to say..deep down in my heart..i still love you deeply.no matter how hard i tried,i still cant change the fact that you are still the one i love most.i cried badly after hearing that.it's over for so long,but why am i still crying for you? it's no point cos you will never know and understand.sigh..wo de xin zhen de zhen de hen tong..wo hen xiang shuo wo bu zai ai ni..hen xiang shuo wo zao yi wang le ni..wo bu yuan cheng ren ni shi wo zui ai de ren..

set you free to a far away land.
wishing you will be happy.
it's the biggest sacrifices i made for you.
it's the maximum love i can give.
seeing you walking away..
i hope in times,you will still look back and think of our memories.
i hope you will never forget the love we once shared.
i hope you wont forget a girl who love you deeply here.
xi wang ni hui guo de bi wo hao.

im so confused and scared.
sigh.

2007-02-26T20:04:00.000+08:00

sunday,25feb07

met sharon and we headed to banbee's house.mok was waiting for us at eunos mrt.then we reached there they went to have coffee at starbuck and i just have bbt as i couldnt drink coffee.ate old chang kee. (: then went to banbee's house to do hw lorhs.we have so much fun (: then we rested.we went to play bowling at the bowling alley which only got two lane.LOLS.those shoes are stink~ eeek! i really love banbee house there.got swimming pool..got bowling alley..got gym..how nice ok! hmm.actually we wanna swim swim (TANG YONG) de but my auntie come so.. ))))): hmm.then went back his house and they played games and i went to banbee's bed and sleep.i was fall asleep and banbee just rush in and i jumped up of the bed larhs.haha..then woke up then had pizzahut.then went to his room and play,joke and have fun.then mok have to go early and left me and sharon and banbee lorhs.me and sharon was talking and banbee was playing dota.haha.then after that we went to the balcony and i drink.it's so high to drink and smoke together larhs.im cutting down on smoking already.hmm..i saw shooting stars larhs. ((: hehe.we talked about life and load of stuffs.i just love the time being with them.then banbee took cab just to send me and sharon home.gentleman right? hehe. ((: hmm.thanks for everything.i love you guys!

monday,26feb07

IM OFFICIALLY SINGLE FOR TWO MONTHS!

hmm.went to school with sharonDEARDEAR.i was sooooooooooo wierd today larhs.i really sit down and do my work during lesson.but of cos still got use handphone larhs.haha.but i didnt do my bio yesterday so was asked to stand outside class and later mr chew brought us to the office.so paisey ok.hmm..luckily i got do a few questions and mr chew let me off.phew~ hmm.then break time went to smoke with yiling and came back to meet banbee and waited for sharon to do finish her test.then have chinese lesson and hist.so bored ok.then after school waited for sean,mok,sharon and banbee.then saw jeremy and he HI-5 with me larhs.awwww~ hmm.then we went to play basketball then went to eat mac.i really cramp like fuck so i went to buy panadol.just reached home and im going to rest.

i hate mrs ong!

i really really scared i will fall for him.
how?

2007-02-26T20:01:00.000+08:00

i had a wonderful day yesterday. ((: woke up at 11.30am yesterday and went to buy some stuffs for mum and then went to meet sharonDEARDEAR and we took bus 60 to eunos mrt station.we are late okays.banbee,mok and sean already reached long ago.LOL.sorrysorry.hmm.then we took train down to marina lorhs.went to eat yuki yaki. ((: here's all the fun begins.the food wasnt that bad.I LOVE THE ICE CREAM! hehe.we couldnt finish the meat and know what me and banbee do? we put it back larhs.we like thief like that..trying to see if got people around..LOL.we poured every favour down for the ice cream and we really scrubbed like hell larhs.but it's fun and nice."EVERYTHING PUT AS BASE" HAHAHAHHAHA! anyway,saw shaoting and friends there too.they sit behind us.haha..i wanna watch movie derhs but the got many people so didnt watch.bowling oso many people and kbox was quite ex yesterday.so we went shopping and went to banbee's house at simei.i bought one puremilk shirt.it's white and orange in colour! i love it loads.((: ok.banbee's house was like...woah..so big and nice larhs! they played mahjiong but i dont know how to play so i relaxed at the osim thingy..so shuang..lol..i was singing song and i didnt realised they recorded it down.arghx! hahas.his balcony is damn fucking cool okaes.hehe.then we played black jack and i wont $3. ((: poor banbee.haha..then we went to play basketball at 137 with binshan and gerald.hmm..then got some conflict i guess? hmm..after that we jiu went home lerhs lorhs.so many people msged me but sorry i didnt reply cos i fall asleep lerhs.
dont say you interested in me when you got stead.
i dont like it!
you are a nice guy and i dont know why you know so much about me.
i wonder.
hmm.HE* is sooooooooooo gentleman.scared i will like him? haha.jkjk.LOL.

2007-02-25T07:42:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY,23feb07

met siaocharbo,shenjingpo and annchen and go school together.have those boring lesson.i failed maths badly. ): i dont like miss poh! so kpo for wad leh? mind your own business can?! ok.im sad today.i was so sad that he didnt reply and sigh..haopengyou added oil to fire. im so disappointed in you ): my tears dropped during maths lesson.but i just wiped away and tried not to think of it larhs.sigh..maybe haopengyou was right..he doesnt have the need to reply me..i deserve it myself. hais. then after school went for training.had photo taking today.fun shot was real fun.those sec 1 are too cute.lol.training was kinda hard today.i reported sick today cos my gastric hurt.didnt have my lunch and im fainting at the moment larhs.then rest awhile and soon okay liao.sec 3 and the sec4 combined together today.it was like the first time larhs.i love it.hmm..after training went home change.actually wanna go tm find shuzheng de but in the end never and ended up i cycled to ubi to meet gladys and samantha.ate cup noodle again and it's like everyday?lol.had a long chat with them.and and and got this guy who i have always find him cute and i manage to get his number from binshan.and know what? he was looking for my number too.lol.he actually knows alot of informations about me larhs.it's so unbelieveable okaes.msged with him for the whole night and acutally wanna chat on the phone de but it's late and he is tired already.other day bahs? alright? ((: hmm.ok...im so careless..i realised someone had stole the mp4 which i borrowed from yiling.sigh..i dunno what to do..this year just to unluckily larhs..how many fucking time i have to lose my stuffs? sians..have to dig out money again.heart breaks... )):

i dont know my feelings.
just cant have back those feelings.
sigh.

2007-02-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

i failed my maths and i didnt go for retest today.like whole class pon larhs.LOL.so steady! hmm.went tm with deardear,dear,deardeardear,zhijian,huixin and karen.saw didi and HIM* at popular larhs.I WAS SO SHOCKED! today recess he smiled at me. i was so HIGH~ okaes.joanne saw i was actually blushing.so pai sey larhs..my heart really melt. ((: then so qiao,saw him at tm again. HE IS JUST ToO CUTE AND I REALLY CANT RESIST TO IT. haha.then went to eat pizzahut and after that went walk walk.chatted alot with dear and deardear. ((: then they both came my house.and we still crapping around.so funn being with them. <3 hmm.then yubing went to meet her real dear larhs den me and deardear went to mac.then go played bball with shuzheng.after that deardear went home lerhs den me and shuzheng went smoke machine and after that played bball again.it's like finally im touching basketball.hehe.binshan and yingchuan came too. ((: i just got home.gonna bath and sleep lerhs.AM SUPER DUPER TIRED.tmr still got npcc...btw,speech day are coming and we are the guard of honour this year.NUMBER 1 UNIFORM HERE I COME ((: lol.promotion test coming soon too.NCO HERE I COME. lol.JIAYOU MY DEAREST SQUADMATES! united we stand,together we fall.never forget those hard times we went thru together.I LOVE YOU GUYS! (:

i love JLYB alot alot.
i just want to see your smile and i will be happy. (:

2007-02-22T21:16:00.000+08:00

im home alone yesterday.dad went overseas for diving,bro went back ns..mum working.and everything is mine now! so shiok.can smoke at home..can bring friends come..hehe. ((: slept with mum last night larhs.it's like diaox larhs..meet chel,chen and xiang yesterday.smoked and went to school together with xiaoeric.im sure i will flung today physic test.i dont even know a single question larhs.im dead.im hopeless and i dont care.chatted with chouchoudabian alot yesterday.and was having fun with haopengyou,chouchoudabian,BEAR,raishun,hazel and eunice during chinese lesson.the wang fang just cant be bother one larhs.LOL.it's the 21st yesterday..sigh..i tried to be happy already.hmm..saw him last last night when i went home from work..i just watch him went pass..sigh..thinking back..i used to pei-ed him home.but now? i wasnt the one.i got no right anymore.ni yao de bu shi wo.. ): got home and i chionged maple.lvling up soon. ((: people,if you play maple,add ahhting11 please. ((: hmm.today got chem test..not ready for anything.i know i cant make it this year.but i fuck care.haha..then i went to take a nap then went down to play with yingchuan,xiang,GERALD and binshan.we played ball and poker cards. (: just so fun.then went to cut cake cos it's rachel birthday today.HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL.(: hmm.yangyang is still so ke ai~ hmm.and and and talked alot of nonsense with my dearest CUTIE meimei.LOL..i really laugh like fuck okaes..haha..i love you MEIMEI.

ANGELLA=ANTI-LOVE. (:
though you had gone but im glad im ONCED your one and only.
thanks for loving me ONCED and letting me enter into life ONCED.
wo zhi dao wo yi jing bei yi wang zai ni yi wang de jiao luo.
ai yi ge ren zhi xiang kan dao ta xing fu kuai le.
kan dao ni kuai le huo shang xin,wo dou hui shang xin.
suo yi wo ning yuan ni kuai le er rang wo qu cheng shou yi qie.
xi wang ni hui liao jie wo wei ni fu chu de yi qie.
xi wang ni bu hui wang ji wo.
xi wang ni hai ji de ni cheng jing dui wo xu xia de nuo yan.
qing ni ji de ni yong yuan hui shi wo zui sheng ai de ren.
wo jiu suan wang ji shi jian,wang ji ni,wo ye wang bu liao wo men you guo de tian mi.
wo yi ran shen shen de ai zhe ni.
wo hui mo mo de shou hu zhe ni.

2007-02-20T07:38:00.000+08:00

just woke up. early hur..? hahas! am busy today.later going best friend's house to bai nian then afternoon going help my mum work.am such a good girl yeah? diaow.lol..well.tmr got schoo lerhs.holiday ended lerhs..and somemore tmr got chem test..wah piang..i haven study anything..but i just fuck care..not going study anyway..becos no matter how hard i study,definitly i will still fail..so im not going to study anyway.i gave up.hmm..okaes.my ang bao were little like fuck larhs.didnt really go bai nian this year..cos im chiong-ing maple all the way.and im going play again soon. (: hmm.i shall go back home everyday after school to chiong maple.muahahaha.

I MISS GERALD ANG!
sorry didnt pei you last night.
i was tired already.
sorry boy.

<3>

2007-02-19T18:50:00.000+08:00

woke up at 9am and went to eat breadfast at mac with my mac.then went home and i chiong-ed maple all the way till 4pm plus.im addicted..addicted to maple!! then went down to meet shuzheng,bee,baby,chel and keong.then they went bedok left me and shuzheng.called weiming come down too.went 151 there to eat.then smoke.then we have fun trying to burst the soccer ball larhs.LOL.okaes.HE* talked to me today.im really shocked..should i be happy or sad? hmm.xi wang ni hui kuai le bahs.take care boy.i miss you loads.then got home.finally blogged and logging out soon.my dearest bro wanna use the com.im too good enough to let him play alright.im so bored larhs.maybe going friend's house to gamble? or maybe..i dont know..but i know this year CNY was bored.okaes.i got to go.byes.

i gave up on you.
it's like finally.
so bye bye my love.
muahahaha.
i fucking cares larhs.
FUCK YOU!

2007-02-19T08:41:00.000+08:00

yesterday woke up in the morning and went to malay village there to eat with my family.then went home change and went to woodland to find my shushu and shenshen.once i got in the car,i heard jiekou..i was like.. ): hmm.then my shushu and shenshen block number was even worst larhs..sigh..made me think of YOU*.okaes my tangdi both have grown up so much.like twin siahs.then headed to my ergu's house also at woodland.my tangjie have a dog.and she say she going to give me one when her dog give birth.my mum agreed to it.yeahs! hehehe.then went home and meet shuzheng.passed hougang,passed his house..and i remembered the past.. ): then have dinner then headed down to bedok res blk 706 there with my parents.as usual..gambling gam gam gam..then it's 11 plus and i feel like going home already and so got this korkor sent me home.he opened the car door for me larhs.so gentleman. (: ok.i want a boyfriend that can drive now.i want play motorbike. (: haha.

had been msging with gerald 24 hours like that.
his funny larhs.
dearest friend,thanks for everything.
and please cheer up.

and i know you* are avoiding me.
i know you like her but sigh.
i give you my blessing to you bahs.
take care boy.i love you.

sigh.my ergu got cancer.. ):
days left are very little. sigh.
save her!!

2007-02-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

KELVIN NG JING CHENG!
dont say i didnt change your pic alright.
now i put it big big in my blog kaes.
people have been asking me who is kelvin.
so this is kelvin,my ex.love him deeply ONCED.lol

this morning woke up and went to mac to eat with my family.miracle yeah? i guess once in a year larhs.then went home slacked and went to meet bestie and went to tenaga play ball.sigh..i saw HIM* with gerald there.i watched them play basketball.he just too cute. ): he said bye to me before he left.aww..sigh.. ): just came home and waiting to eat dinner with family and at night maybe go ton..gambling gam gam gam. hmm..yesterday fighted with hanglam..friends stopped me,keep pushing me away..she kicked me hardly on my leg..now im injured..sigh..damn her! im not gonna let her off! i will make her die!! cheebye bitch.you better watch out!! damn you.shall update till here.byes.

i miss you. ):

2007-02-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

my blood korkor and my da sao (:
do me and my kor look alike? haha.
i love them. <3

yesterday was a tiring day.our class got the lowest sale larhs.so paisey okaes.sigh..delicated two songs..for my baobei and you* but sigh.i should have listen to chouchoudabian's words.i shouldnt have go to see your reaction.i cried after hearing the song.sigh..chouchoudabian bought me a yelllow heart shaped balloon.i love it loads.but my friends lost it. ): sigh.sorry joanne.then baobei bought me another balloon but it's green.i love it too.thanks jie for cheering me up.and thanks darling for the marshmallow for cheering me up too.thanks didi for giving me the cute stuff and thanks meimei for the lightstick.thanks to those who supported our class and to my classmates for their hardwork.i appreciate everything but sorry..nothing can cheer me up now.im super sad alright.if only you know how much i suffered for you.i guess only jeremy can replace a lil bit of you.but sigh..saw jeremy today..he came and talked to me and i guess i was shocked..why didnt you reply my msgs? sigh. jeremy,weiyou...sigh...love hurts in every way..
just couldnt forget the past..and couldnt move on..cant even love,trust,believe now..so loveless.. ):
new year coming..i dont know how should i spend..feel so lonely every single day..here without you..

2007-02-11T08:45:00.000+08:00

once again today is the 11th..thinking back,one year ago,we were still so sweet loving.but sigh..our story ended..it's me and my meimei one month anniversay too! meimei,one month already!! love being your jiejie narhs.you are just a great meimei.loves sitting with you.though we seldom talk but i believe we will be close someday.waiting.hahas.no matter what,jiejie will always be with you derhs kaes.promise promise.(: you will forever be my dearest mei.loves! (: ok.yesterday woke up in the morning by yangyang's mum.he was alone at home so i go over to take care of him.he is like only 4 years old? hmm.i bought him to eat porridge narhs.he is just so cute,but irritating too.keep asking me questions non-stop alright.really bth him arhs.then after that brought him go find bestfriend and his mum at market there.then they went to eat and i tagged along.rachel came to bring yangyang out.i feel so relief after that.lols.then me and best friend went to take his spec and he pei-ed me home to change.then i pei-ed him home to change too.and we took bus down to bishan with his mum and sis.wah..damn many people okaes.then go bugis...then tamp..actually going chinatown at night derhs but in the end never lorhs.then slacked at 137 with my usual buddys.then at night went to xiaohongji eat lorhs.so sad.i cant eat fried food.am sick larhs.getting worser okaes.sians..later going ger's house.alright shall post until here.byes.

waiting for 140207 to come!
me and ger will officially together.
I LOVE YOU GIRL!
dear forever.

sigh..111205*
i miss you loads.

2007-02-08T21:40:00.000+08:00

bought a new specs which cost me $90.it's white and black(: i look wierd okaes but no choice.my degree are increasing..now already 100 lerhs..please dont increase le.hmm..as usual was being punished during silent reading again.it's so unfair larhs..it always me kena derhs..never hazel one..): after school went to smoke with yiling and xiangxiang pei-ed us too.then went home.changed and told bus down to queensway to find my mum.thanks mum for buying me the lovely spec. (: along the way and back home,it's a long journey and i thought alot of things..hmm..then went to 137 find my buddys..but sigh..had a biggest quarrel with ahbee..damn him..fuck! i hate him larhs.it's not my fault larhs..it's your own fault and don wish to say sorry it's fine with me..why must you push all the blames to me? fark off larhs.then just got home.mood sucks now. so bye.

okaes.lastly..i miss HORUIHENG! (:
boy.i miss you.

2007-02-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

ok.i miss him.

2007-02-07T16:23:00.000+08:00

okaes.mood really sucks today and sorry people.was asked to stand up for talking too much during silent reading.was really embarrassing larhs.and sigh..i was just guessing and i told haopengyou.who's knows i found out something..why will like that? i feel so cheated by you.you are definetly a big fuck liar! found out some stuffs from dearest meimei too.why so many people know it? my heart is bleeding.i was being smashed into pieces by you and now you are stepping on me hardly.how long can i still hold on? passing 2 months but im still here crying EVERYDAY for you.who knows my feelings?i blamed myself to have love you so deeply,i was just too blind.im so naive to believe your promises,but i should say lies.there's only hatred and hurts in my eyes..yes,my heart is numbed.i cant feel anything already..it's just too numb..what have i done wrong? why must you made me suffered so much? the pain in me just couldnt go away.i cried the whole day today..i broke down..how many times must i break down in a day? will anyone understand? i dont ask for much,i just want all this hurts and pain to stop.i dont want to think of you,i want to forget you.ai ni zhen de hen tong ku..i wonder if you are still human or a cold blooded animal? or even worst than a beast.if times could turn back,i will definetly tell you to fark off my life.i seriously dont need your hurts.YOU* the biggest heartbreaker on earth,listen up,I HATE YOU FOR LIFE! i cursed you to death.you have successfully became the person i hate most on this earth.how the fuck will i fall in love with someone like you? you just left me here alone.this is the second time im going thru such things becos you..i promise there wouldnt be any third time,even in other relationship..wo dui ai yi mei gan jue le.wo de xin yi jing si le..i already had enough though it's just my first love..one time of disaster can already kills me..what will happen if there's still next? sigh.ai qing zhi hui dai gei ren tongku yu houhui.though there's xingfu but it wont last forever.the scars you left for me will definetly follows me till the end.those scars made me see the true colours of you..worth exchanging scars for true colours marhs? i guess so.at least i know you are not the true one.one year 15 days of love is just shit.11dec05 shouldnt have started..i should have just dump you in the first place..i should have go find my true happiness since the start..but im soooooo stupid to listen to you like a dog..what i got in the end? i just got kicked aside by you.i believe you will get your retribution someday.yes,wo bu gan xin..many times i just feel like giving you one tight slap..but when i think back of the past..my heart turn soft..i have never been so serious in a relationship before..why must you made me dont even dare to love anymore? i still wonder will i get back to the right track..the hardest thing to accept is to accept your love one as your friend..i don want to be friend with you either..becos you will only caused me pain and hurt..you will turn my life upside down..i will throw away everything you gave me..i will not leave anything that reminds me of you..i wont even want to keep them as memories..i will delete everything and get myself out from your spell.you will never see me in your life ever again and please dont find me or appear infront of me.i don wish to see you.you are just a hatred in my eyes.bear in mind that.goodbyes my love.i will forget you,someday.

2007-02-06T22:05:00.000+08:00

tell me people,tell me what's wrong with me? how will i ended in this stage? ):

okaes.life is boring..everyday seems to have the same routine.im sick of this life.went to school feeling sleepy and bored.received your msg during POA lesson and after that i couldnt concerntrate.ARGHX! why must i let you affect my life?why must my life turned upside down becos of you?why does my mood swing with you? sigh.): and went back home with haopengyou and xiangxiang.went home chatted with mum and slept till 5pm den went down.brought my hws down and i realise i couldnt concertrate.i love POA but i dunno why i just cant think larhs.am stupid okaes.then chatted with vincent.cheer up alright? i will be there for you derhs.be a man and take it easy larhs.im shocked of what i have been telling other people this few days.i really feel so grown up.but i wonder is it good to grow up? i have always been wanting to grow up quickly and i guess love had pulled me down.real down that i couldnt even stand on my feet again.love had seriously defeated me and making a fool with me.what is life? i sometimes wonder.to me,life is complicating..it's a torture..but in times,i do have fun but the laughters dont last long..is the hurts and scars that stay with you forever.i went home at 8 plus to study for bio..i took 1 hr to study finished.people please listen..i do study okaes! hmm.i will be myself and shut my heart tightly.i will never let anyone come into my life and turn me upside down anymore.im not going to try anything..im afraid of trying anyway..in order to play safe and dont get hurt,i choose to shut my heart.nobody will be important to me.i will be the most important to myself.i will stay single and hopefully when im back to myself and ready for everything,i will find my mr.right bahs.there's hurts and obstacle in life but those sufferings made me grow up and learn to think alot but of cos the scars will definetly remain.i can only accept the fact and reality.life & love will never be fair..but i do believe someday you will go thru what im going thru now.it's your loss anyway,not mine.because you lost someone who actually truely love and care for you.i should be happy that i lost someone who actually dont appreciate my love and someone who turned my life upside down.i should be happy that the person had gone.HAHA? just to cheer myself up bahs.that's lame,indeed.okaes..shall stop all my shit.byes.

imissyou.

2007-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

okaes.shall blog the last post lerhs.went to school feeling sleepy and sigh..i failed my chem test again and again and again..but i passed my chinese..i got 27 over 50..but it's bad to me already. ): i know i couldnt make it anymore.just flung everything bahs..nothing is important to me anymore anyway.was asked to stay back to complete my history before i can go home.i just fuck flung it larhs.damn..i really hopeless larhs. then went to 137 meet vincent and eric.then arger and xiangxiang came.sigh..arger and vincent break le..i feel so sad for them..well..i understand both of you de situation..cheer up bahs..LOVE SIMPLY SUCKS.i wanna stay single and stay away from fucking love..because of you,im afraid to love..i swear it's true..i don wish to be in arger's situation..wo hao hai pa.. ): why all this will happen to me? LOVE IS NEVER FAIR LARHS! have been thinking of you..every moment...u know the fucking shit? fuck love larhs.and went home to change and go arger house slacked.talked alot with vincent and arger about love..i feel so grown up larhs..okaes then went to play basketball and soccer..i played like mad..i just don want to think of you..it's kills me inside whenever i think of you..it's the feelings of dying..and you will never know..perhaps someday..i bet you will! muahahaha.sighh..bye larhs everyone.i don wish to care about anyone already.i just wanna be alone for the rest of my life ok! so people,beware i bite..just leave me..everyone is nothing to me.BYE!

hopefully,you see the poem i have delicated to you.
bye fucking love.

2007-02-04T21:04:00.000+08:00

a poem dedicated to you* hais.

Woke Up From The Sound Of Pouring Rain
Smell Of Wet Sand Reminded Me Your Skin
Cool Breeze Raised My Burning Desires
And Once Again I Fought With My Will Within
Slept Again With The Sound Of My Tears As My Lullaby
Same Stained Pillows Embracing My Swollen Eyes
Nothing Has Changed, Another Year Has Just Passed By
And I Wonder If You Could Ever Hear My Dying Cries
Cool Breeze Wash My Tears Away
When I Walk Down Your Street Again
Time Stands Still When I Look At Your Door
And My Heart Cry Out Your Name In Pain
There's A Long Way To Go Before I Reach The End
And I'll Keep Walking Even If Forever I Stay Alone
I Am Not A Weak gIrl To Follow Any Suicidal Trend
But I Have Been Too Much Hurt Since You Have Gone
Weird Feelings Passes Me By So Frequently Now
Sometimes I Wish My Heart Had A Bone
This Life Has Just Turned Upside Down Somehow
Since My Heart Became A Rolling Stone
Ruptured From Your Love That Now Stink
I Had So Much To Tell You On Your Face
Realities Beyond Than What You Could Think
I Wish To Share In My End Of Days
Never Thought, Illusions Of Darkness Could Be So True
As I Never Ever Dreamed Of Being Betrayed By You
So These Layers Of Pain Still Remains Inside Me
And I Keep Digging Till I Reach The Root & Set Pain Free
Your Face In Every Drop Of My Blood
Your Name Is On Every Tear Of Mine
Your Promises Still Breathes In My HeartFading Hopes Sometimes Shine
These Diamonds Of Sorrow Fall Right On My Face
Reminding Me Your Blazing Touch
And How Deep I Was In Your Beauty's MazeWithout Knowing You So Much
Screaming With These Creatures On My Wall
As They Now Remind Me Of What I Have Lost
Staring At The Crystal Ball Which Knows My FateIs Fading Slowly, Darkness Is All That I Have Got
Come And Live With Me In My GraveTo Know The Depth Of My Miseries
Feel The Walls All Around My Clay
With Your Pictures As My Only Memories
Without Anaesthesia You Penetrated My Scars
Discourteously You Played With My Tears
Countless Times I Cried, More Than Visible Stars
And I Have Been Numb For So Many MoNtHs
Walk With Me My DeAr For Once Just Come Along
See Why My Life Is So Shady
Where With You I Feel So Alone
Now Sitting Here, So Far Away From You
I Write What I Have Gone Through
Rush Of Blood Within Myself
Wish If I Could Have Another Chance

2007-02-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

We'd lay for hours in the field
Watching the clouds roll by
When nothing else mattered
The sun was shining in the sky.

I'd watch you picking daisies
Weaving them into a crown
Placing them on my head
Laughing, we'd fall to the ground

We had all the time in the world
You always held my hand so tight
Stealing kisses behind the house
Making sure we were out of sight.

We were kids who were in love
Everyone said we should wait
Our love was way too strong
We decided to leave it to fate

Fate took us on a journey
One I'd never ever trade
It gave us many years of love
On this our dreams were made

Dreams they always have to end
And ours it did not last
You were taken away from me
Leaving me to live in our past

So now I sit waiting
For my time to come
You will pick me daisies
While we lay beneath the sun.

2007-02-03T17:49:00.000+08:00

scary night..i dont know where should i start..

yesterday after school went to meet chel and annchen,we went ""NEOPRINTING"" and then i went to mac alone to meet BAOBEIJIEJIE and huizhen.joked with them until 6pm plus. (: then saw my haopengyou and chouchoudabian! hahas.then i went home to change cos i was still wearing uniform.then me,xiangxiang,karrie,eric,vincent,wenkai cycled to sarkong at geylang.ok..here's the story begins..then we cycled back to 137 to take more bike,bighead and ahle joined us too.then cycled to telok kurau there to wait for jingxiang to take this bike then we all cycled to paya lebar there to meet ahbee and friends.20 over us went cycling and police came and we ran.but...before that..ahbee's friends went to assult a bangla and take away his bike for alloy..then we keep running away from police..it's already 3am in the morning..many police cars were there..cos the bangla went to report to police..me and my friends all get caught but ahbee's friends didnt get caught.is like wtf right? we didnt do wrong thing get caught but they assault bangla and didnt get caught.i was caught with xiang,bighead and alloy cos all was being separated when the police came.all run different ways...after half an hour..they released me,bighead and xiang and the rest but in the end..only alloy was caught back..sigh..i first time see my friend get handcraft..somemore is his birthday..he didnt assault the bangla..but it's is fault to cycle that bike..10 police was there to catch us larhs..those police was so guailan can! i told them i stomache and you know what they say back? "talk one more time,i'll handcraft you". sigh..i was lan lan and went to squad back larhs.sigh..i dunno what will happen to alloy..and to those bastards..i hope you guys go own up larhs..dont be so chicken without balls manx.

2007-01-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

i feel the loneliness within me. ): i dont like the life im leading now.it's just so boring..

went to school kinda late but luckily never late larhs.i cannot late lerhs..i dont wish to have detention okays.and was asked to stand up during silent reading..so paisey larhs.friends keep on laughing at me lorhs.and stupid hazel even di siao me,but she just got scolded.wtf lorhs.NOT FAIR! hmm.i think im gonna fail my chem test liao..sigh..i failed enough of my test le. am i really that stupid marhs? ): im glad to have a partner like haziq..i love sitting with him! it's just so fun can. (: darling,i love you larhs! lol.then during break time,went to ""TAKE NEOPRINT"" with xiangxiang and yanbin lorhs.and sigh..saw YOU* and i went back to class and i downpour..nobody knows i cried cos i was sitting at the back all alone and sigh..haoxiangni* ): then went to meet shuzheng after school.slacked around and went to 137 meet vincent and karrie.then after that around 5pm vincent have to go liao then we went to mac to eat lorhs.i never eat cos i dont feel like eating mac.sigh..jeremy was there too..i dunno am i happy or sad..): den went to 7 11 to buy cup noodle.then slacked all the way and i just reached home.damn tired and i guess will be sleeping very soon.byes!

sigh..why am i still thinking of you?
i really want to erase you from my life.
what the point of me still sad-ing over you larhs?
i know you have already forgotten me.
am just nothing to you anymore.
i cant believe what fucking sort of people you are. ):
you must be happy to see me suffer in this stage right?
wont you feel guilty hurting so much people and lying to people?
i guess everything was just craps larhs.your words are just lies.
i will not believe you any fucking more.
i admit i still love you alot but there's too much reasons for me to hate you.
i hate you for making me in this fucking stage.
i hate you caused you changed me and turned my life upside down.
i hate you for you are a flirt,a heartbreaker.
what you told me in the past? i bet you had forgotten.
i bet you wont even remember those fucking craps you once said to me.
i regretted loving you.i regretted being with you.i regretted giving you all my love.i regretted believing all your bullshit.i really feel so regretted!!

anti-love*
love+hate=hurt. ):

weiyou,
ru guo zhe shi zui hao de jie shu,wei he wo hai shi qang bu liao ni.
shi jian yi gai bian le wo men,gao bie le dan chun,mo fei she wo tai guo tian zhen.
nan dao wo jiu zhe yang guo wo de yi shen,wo de wen zhu ding wen bu dao wo zui ai de ren.
jiu shuan ai qing ke yi jiao gei bie ren, dan ming yun hai shi liu bu zhu wo zui ai de ren.
wo bu yuan cheng ren ni shi wo bu gei ai de ren. ): i wish to delicate this song to you.listen to my blog's song. sigh..

i love maddygirl,shenjingpo,karrie,shuzheng,liangzi,joanne,serena,cheryl!
i know they are the true one to me.not forgetting my sweetest prince charming HIM*

2007-01-28T14:11:00.000+08:00

i dont know what will happen to me on monday.
yes,my future is gone..
once again,im involved in police case..sigh..
it's too late to turn back anyway.
i caused too much troubles.. sigh.. ):
i know it's the end of me.. i shouldnt have touches them and involved in so much things.
but no choice,i have to help my friend..
just wait and see the end of me..
26jan07* the worst day in my life.

FIRDAY*
went to cineleisure to watch requiem with jingxiang,wenkai,arger and xiangxiang.on the way,i saw YONGWEI(: i couldnt regconise him and he couldnt regconise me.but i received his msg asking me was that me in the train and i was like LOL larhs.had been msging him for days already..he is still like before! (:
people,NEVER WATCH REQUIEM. its damn fcuking boring and no meaning at all.
it wasted my precious money.and i slept inside cos was having a bad headaches..so uncomfortable inside larhs.after that told train home lorhs..

SATURDAY*
meet shuzheng at around 11pm and we slacked awhile and we took cab to east coast.
he was feeling down and so i pei-ed him.
we rent bike and we went cycling.
then ahbee came find us awhile and we played roller blading.
thanks you two for teaching me.
within a day,i had successfully know how to roller blade.
but sigh..i fell many fucking times.
now have many many injuries.
after that went back to 137.it's already 9pm.
shuzheng went home and i went home to take bike and me,xiangxiang,arger cycled down to eunos to meet wenkai.along the way,we took many pics. (:
hmm.then met wenkai and we cycled to ubi to meet vincent and he cycled with us too.
ahbee then came find us and we cycled to east coast again.i was at east coast for almost the whole day? lol.
had alot of fun on sat (:
but i nearly lost my life.. ):
we cycled like mad on the road..
if you get to see,you will be shocked.
after that we cycled to bedok adventure park to play.
it's already midnight larhs.
then ahbee bike's tyre came out.
luckily wenkai used his TEETH to fix it.oh gosh..haha.
then cycled home lorhs.
saw many police cars and we really cycle like mad.
if kena caught,we will be dead.
i cannot get caught again anymore.if not...haha!

SUNDAY*
just woke up and im going to do abit of my hw and go down play again.
my life is wild.unlike before.
IM A GIRL WHO DONT GO HOME! hehe.
sigh..tmr tmr tmr..im kinda afraid..
but i have to face the consequences..
): bye.

many things are on my mind.
haopengyou? sigh..
this still called friend marhs?
i will never believe in love and so as friendship,
everything just sucks.argh!
and imagine seeing the things you gave to your ex,on somebody else and the somebody else was just sitting beside you? sigh.have you think of how i feel? why must you hurt me in this way? why you must be so purposly? sigh.i hate you! i really do!

2007-01-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

love is just soooo sickening!

both of you are just near me today.
but i faked a smile as though i am fine with everything.
but deep in my heart will you know im crying?
i laughed,i played,i joke around but i was actually very sad.
i miss both of you soooo much when i never see you both.
one is my ex and one is my admirer..sigh..
but when i get to see you both,my heart sank..
i guess it's very normal to feel this way..
but of cos i still love you* the most..
29 days had pass but my love for you had not fade..
three more days to 26jan07 and definetly i will be super duper down on that day.
love have been occuring in my mind round and round..
im really sick of everything single thing.

school was boring.
i gurantee i will fail my physic badly.
sigh..i failed every test le..
im so afraid that i cant make it to sec4.
i really want to study hard..but im struggling with it.
wo zhen de hao hai pa! ):
during break time when to "TAKE NEOPRINT" lol.
i really so buey ta han during lesson.
keep on sneezing and yawning..
then went for chinese class and after that went to meet shuzheng at opposite school.
waited for annchen and we went to play basketball with banbee,shaozhi and sean..
and i just got home not long again.
im resting early tonight.
super moodless.

thanks chouchoudabian! we had alot of fun sending msgs to each other today.
and stupid tracy keep on molesting me.haha!

many things are troubling me..
from today onwards i guess i shall keep every single thing to myself.
not gonna say my probs out again.
sigh..
love hurts and definetly life sucks..
I WILL NEVER BELIEVE IN EVERLASTING LOVE!
love just make me mad.. ):

jeremy,im waiting for you still..
hope you will drop by and see my post..
but i bet you wont..cos im nothing to you. ):
i can only love you secretly..care for you secretly..sigh..

andandand i miss my dearest meimei soooo much!
110107* loves!!!

2007-01-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

BLOODY SHIT MOOD TODAY AGAIN! ): i have been thinking of him for the whole day..waiting for his msg and wondering where is he..i haven even forget the past one why is there another coming into my life? i don wish to love anyone.im sooooo afraid of love! but i just cant stop my feelings..i guess i really really fall for him lerhs.after school took cab down to bartley school with chel,chen and maddygirl cos shuzheng got problem and we went down to help him..but who knows those humji fucker ran away already.damn fucked up larhs.then took bus 25 to bedok cc..jingxiang got problem oso..then we went down..actually i went down is to see HIM* he played well.im happy but also sad to see him..sigh..im waiting for you..do you know that? all the sorries can cure the hurt in my heart marhs? boy,i really love you.i really hope one day you will give me a chance to be with you..wo hui yi zhi deng dai zhe ni..i mean what i say..i keep watching him,peeping at him..what happen to me? am i in love? but sigh..i really wish to be free from love..i had enough of all the hurts..but i just cant stop loving you..i know you can be the only one to replace my ex..sigh..you know everything you do mean so important to me marhs?you know how sad am i when you dont reply my msg marhs? hais..love is just so scary..i need a brain wash..i wish to forget everybody..i don want to remember anythings.. ): after his match,i kinda very she bu de to go..but i have to..then went to bedok kfc eat and i just got back home.going down to 137 soon..wow..more and more people hanging with us already..now even vincent is with us..LOL.

i love jeremy..
waiting for you..
will you give me a chance?

thanks my dearest maddygirl for listening to my probs.
and of cos CHOUCHOUDABIAN who made me feel im not alone.

andandand to YOU*
i guess im nobody to you anymore.

fark off!

2007-01-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to SHARON,my dearest friend.

physic test was postpone to thurs.seems like many test in a week.sec three life is hard..im afraid i couldnt make it. ): was really in a damn bloody bad mood today.my old habits are coming back again,i guess? i wanted to cabut history lesson today.but in the end,i thought i should just wait for a few more minutes.i waited and dashed home after that.went home to sleep until 6plus and was woke by valJIE's call.went down to slack with them..played basketball a while and went to east coast with val,shuzheng and allan.me and allan went to take pay and so they followed us.i got $70. (: hmm.then allan went home and left me and val and shuzheng.we went to the beach and sit on the rock..the cool breeze was so shiok can! and we saw many many stars.so beautiful..it was at east coast again..once again,i thought of you. ): i remembered i say i wanna watch stars with you on a beautiful beach..sigh.where are you,my love? ): i remembered 2006 new year,when we hugged each other so tightly and making those wishes..sigh.we were mad there..blasted songs,we smoke,we shout,we went crazy..then was msging with joanne,thanks girl.im serisously shocked to receive your msg.i know im very moody today and i didnt care much about you guys.sorry..im glad im not alone.i treasure you,my friend.love you girl(: hmm.then waited for godfather and we went to bedok centre to have our dinner.then took bus 60 home and i just reached not long ago.

sigh.i feel so left out.i just dunno why..
so much problems with friendship and love and studies. ):
life is hard.i should say..

i dunno what went wrong with our friendship but im utterly disappointed and sad.
am i still your friend? i wonder.sigh..

my baobei 07,im sorry for today.i didnt mean it but i hope you understand why i ignored you.im glad you msged me after that..jiejie,no matter what,you will always be my dearest jie.and i know i will always be your xiaohuaidan right? hehe.till death tear our sistership part.i really treasure you like my real sister.perhaps i dont know how to express but im sure i treasuring you even more like before..before that person came to my life..i know you have always been the true one to me..im proud to be your meimei.

andandand had been msging with HIM* for the whole day.
but dunno why he didnt reply me since 7 plus.i guess he is asleep?
sigh..i miss him.i really do..
i miss his sweet smile,which melted my heart.
i hope he can replace you..

2007-01-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

20jan06woke up at 11plus by shuzheng's call.after that went down to meet annchen,ahle and shuzheng.annchen & shuzheng had a friendly fight..first time i see shuzheng fight larhs..he's great i should say..hmm.then went home to change,and went to watch movie with shuzheng.we watched ghost tunnel..kinda nice larhs.had a great time with him inside the cinema. (: thanks for making so much fun in my life.hmm..brought a new shirt at 77streets and it's damn nice larhs.im loving in it! <3then> 21jan06*sigh..i just cant forget our date. ):i guess im gonna be damn down and moodless tomorrow.not a day goes pass without thinking of you.i believed as long as i am still here,i know that everything i felt for you was true.after all the pain and hurts we've been thru,im still here by your side,loving you.baby,if i was ever to review,everything you and me had been thru,i'll still believe in my heart so true,that 10 years down the road,i'll still be missing you.i cant explain this feelings.i think about you everyday.and even though we've move on,but it get hard to walk away.sigh..listened to chonglai just not..haoxiangni. ):waiting for you is like rolling dice.not a good chance that you will win,but i still give it a spin. ): and and and im kinda worried for my dearest mei.i wonder is she's fine.girl,i really you are fine.cheer up kays?jiejie always here for you derhs.

2007-01-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

20jan06
woke up at 11plus by shuzheng's call.after that went down to meet annchen,ahle and shuzheng.annchen & shuzheng had a friendly fight..first time i see shuzheng fight larhs..he's great i should say..hmm.then went home to change,and went to watch movie with shuzheng.we watched ghost tunnel..kinda nice larhs.had a great time with him inside the cinema. (: thanks for making so much fun in my life.hmm..brought a new shirt at 77streets and it's damn nice larhs.im loving in it! <3>

21jan06*
sigh..i just cant forget our dates. ):
i guess im gonna be damn down and moodless tmr.
sigh..listened to chonglai just down..i miss you..):

andandand im kinda worried for my dearest mei.
i wonder is she's fine. ):
girl,i really hope you are fine.cheer up alright?
jiejie always here for you.

people whom i loved the most:cherylJIE,serenaMEI,liangziHAOPENGYOU,shuzheng!
i know they are the true ones. (:
im glad to have you guys by my side.i love you guys loads.

I HATE HEARTBREAKER.I HATE LIARS.I HATE FUCKER.I HATE YOU!

2007-01-19T13:33:00.000+08:00

just got home from school..sigh..i dreamt of you last night..i dunno why i miss you so much.tears dropped during maths lesson..sigh.ziq,thanks for making me feel better.sigh.if only you know that i miss you alot alot. ): 24 days had passed..my love for you still doesnt change..i dont wish to think of you ever again..but i just couldnt stop myself.sigh.. was late for school today.i didnt woke up late..infact,i woke up at 5am just to study for bio.we were late cos we went to smoke.. sorry,i made a lie to mr lau.i told him i overslept cos i studied till too late.i feel so quilty..i'll try not to be late again.cos it just too embarrasing..i did study abit for bio and when test that time,everything had been forgotten. ): im sure im gonna fail again. i feel so useless and stressed up every single day..am i really that slow and stupid? i want to do well..but it's just so xingku to struggle every day.well..today PE was fun..we played softball..3D just rawks..love being with them! hmm.going for np soon and it's master parade today.hope the rest can promote.buddies,we can make it a gold! i know we can do it! we'll make bnss proud right?we shall not let ncc look down on us again.i pledged myself to npcc since sec 1,so i will put all my heart and soul in it..i will buck up on my drills and everything.after np gonna go home change and go school again..cos tonight got meet the parent session.sians..gonna be terribly tired..infact,im dead tired now already. ai ni cai zhi dao shen me shi tong. wo zhi dao wo men mei you wei lai..ye bu ke neng you wei lai..ke shi wo wu fa wang ji ni.. dui ni de ai yi zhi dou zai.wo hen xiang ni..ni hui zhi dao ma? wo zai mo mo de ai ni,zhi de ma? yin wei wo tai ai ni,shuo yi wo xuan zhe rang li zou.. bu xiang zai cheng shou..ye bu xiang bi ni.. chong ni li kai wo yi hou,wo de shi jie dou bian an le.. ni yi jing yuan yuan li kai,wo ye hui man man zou kai.. qin ai de,wo yong yuan bu hui wang ji ni.

2007-01-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

sigh..had been struggling with studies almost everyday.im a slow learner..so i dont understand certain things so fast..was really very fed up with physics today..sigh..but luckily my dearest haopengyou was there to coach me..i can see mr lau got a hard time teaching me..am sorry.btw,my haopengyou,thanks so much! i love you larhs.hmm.if you need me,i promise i will be there too.you are truly treasured by me! hmm.after school went to smoke with rafiah and ziq.then went home change.went to karrie house to meet ahbee,wenkai and karrie and we took cab down to beach road.sians..the bag i want was gone already..): and we walked around and took 63 to bugis..siahs larhs..ahbee and wenkai really very naughty can! kop so many thing..kena caught den you all know arhs..but actually they kop for me der larhs.thanks thanks! HAHA.then went to 137 slack and went home.just reached home not long.gonna bath and have a good rest.gonna wake up early tmr to study for my poa test.yawns..i will still hold on with my studies..don wish to give up yet..but i just dunno how long can i still hold on..so stressed up!! bye humans..

i love my JIEJIE,HAOPENGYOU & MEIMEI lots.
not forgetting..*HIM

boy,you made me so jealous..):

2007-01-16T17:03:00.000+08:00

today was kinda a pissed off day.went to school and during morning assembly,fcuking mrs yeow caught me and hazel cos we wore black coloured *** larhs.she's super guai lan can! she loves to pick on me and i know she dislike me alot.and and and of cos i hate her larhs! i took my time home to change.and slowly went back..hazel more suay cos she live at chaichee larhs.lols.hmm..trying to pay attention in class today but was really difficult..really struggling with studies now..thanks my HAOPENGYOU for teaching me POA..someone help me in my physics can? i really dont understand a single bit of things.sigh..feel like giving up already..so stressed up! well.will be uploading many new pics soon..hees.after school went to bedok cc watch bball match.yoohoo~ bedok north won and i knew they will win! saw that lil pig,gladys there.chatted with her happily..so long since i last met her..miss you girl.after that went to 137 slack and i just got home not long ago.gonna bath and go down again.

well well..saw HIM* today..was really happy.he's smile simply just melt my melt.really..
he's still so cute like before,i swear! secret admiration but sigh..

andandand meimei was really cute today.i forward her a forward msg and her replies really really make me laugh my ass out can! hahas! mei..you are so funny and cute larhs! so touched to read your blog that you actually care for me.girl,im gladful to have you this meimei..hope we will get closer and talk to each other more often..i guess both of us are really shy yea? hahas.misses and loves! do take care alright? study hard and jiayou! no matter what happen,remember jiejie will always be there for you.a promise made by me to you..(: 110107<3>

where's my baobei 07? ): haoxiangni.